Overcoming the fear of failure is one of the toughest things we will have to do in life. It will come in many forms and at different times. It's the biggest cause of call reluctance with sales people and the biggest obstacle in employee performance. What if they say no? What if I mess up? What will my friends think of me if I screw up?
Lets be honest. We all want to succeed. We all want the admiration of our colleagues and our friends. However this validation and admiration we desire must be earned. There is no silver bullet. It's easier for some than others but everyone must at some point push through what they do not want to do. If it was easy we would all be doing it. There is no single recipe for success.
I was fortunate to learn about dealing with failure at an early age. Failure to me was not winning. It was not until later in life that I came to understand that being around the top was good too. Having been a competitive ski racer and sailor I was motivated by winning. I learned that when we went to the results board at the end of the day every one looked to see where they placed. The second place you looked was to see who won. No one looked at who was at the bottom first, or in fact at all. Headlines on the sports page of the news paper don't read. "John Doe Came in Last." If you were on the bottom, odds are you were the only one who noticed. Yes it hurts but there is only one way to move up the leader board. That's through hard work, practice and persistence.
I will pass along these few steps that should help you get past the fear of failure.
- The first part of getting past the fear of what will happen if the potential customer says no. Well it's part of the job. Everybody does not say yes. It's about the product or service you are selling or promoting and not about you. Can you increase your performance with practice and good coaching. Yes. Simply put. Get it in your head that what is happening to you happens to everyone. Others don't share or broadcast their losses either. They learn from them.
- What will happen if we didn't quite get it right at work. Well, if we have a nurturing and mentoring boss they will likely help you though what has happened. Lets remember that their success is somewhat tied to yours. The key here is to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of strength and not of weakness. Express to them that you want to be better. Who in their right mind is going to say no?
- If you are unable to get to the space of having self-confidence I suggest you find a coach who will help you get there. I have used a coach numerous times in my life. Many of my readers know I have a had a few hits in my life. I got through them all and some times I needed help. There is no sin in that. They helped make me stronger.
Take action now to get past these feelings of fear. Anxiety can do all kings of crazy things with your mind. To move forward in achieving your goals you need to have a clear mind. Focus is not a buzz word. It is for real. You can only reach for what is clear in your mind. What happens in the process of getting there is just that. A process. Don't beat yourself up. You have what it takes. Being your own biggest cheerleader is a good place to start.
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