You Owe It To Yourself

Sitting by the phone waiting for the customer to call you is wishing. A wish is a day-dream. A wish is saying I don't have what it takes. Your dreams will not become reality unless you take action. You really do have complete control of the out come. You just need to ask yourself the basic question. Are you worth it? The answer should always be yes as this means you will do what it takes to make your goals.

The biggest road block to achieving your dreams are the negative thoughts that creep into your mind with the fear of failure. The world of sports for many is as a spectator. We are enamoured with talent. We wish we had it. How many times in life have you heard someone say I would give anything to play the piano or play golf like that. The reality is you wouldn't. There in lies the difference in being good at something or being an expert. I ask again. Are you worth it?

The world of life is for participants. If you're a spectator in life you will never accomplish your dreams and goals.  After you have stared at yourself in the mirror and determined your worth it, you must do the following. Write it down and keep it keep close at hand.

• Step one is to obtain a positive mind set. " I can do this"
• Step two is to acknowledge there will be failures but they will not hurt me. They will make me stronger and wiser.
• Step three is acknowledge it will take time but you will remain true to yourself. The short play is seldom lasting.
• Savor the small victories as they validate your worth it.

I like the analogy that a Super Bowl winning team or World Series winning team did not win every game of the season. These successful teams had some losses during the regular season. They learned from those losses to make themselves stronger. The same applies to life. Unlike the sports teams you must remember the whole nation is not watching you.
I suggest you not get that wrapped up in yourself. Telling the world your worth it is boastful. There is much to be said for humility. If you keep that promise to yourself that your worth it others will take notice of your accomplishments without you having to say a word. Unsolicited admiration in it's truest form validates that your worth it.
 

Paul's many years of business ownership and life experience have provided him with the expertise to help you deal with complex issues regarding success and obtaining your goals. Paul has developed a passion for writing and chooses to share this knowledge with his readers and clients. http://www.toyourfuturesuccess.ca

Why Is The Last 5% So Hard To Do?

Most everyone has those unfinished projects. They exist everywhere from fixing the little things around the house to very important projects at the office. I feel the first 95% is in the choose to range while the last 5% lives in the have to range. Have to lives where you don't like to go. The sticky gooey stuff. The little details. Have to is like work. Choose to is like fun. This is a rather simple observation but a grunt in real life. No one want's to do what they don't like doing.
Where does the answer lie? The smart money knows you do the part you don't like to do first. Once that's behind you it's clear sailing. The very best sales people do this when they have call reluctance. Get those first few calls behind them in the morning. Beware of what happens when you leave it to the afternoon. Your day has become busy doing stuff. Procrastination rarely shows up in the choose to realm.

I believe the best way to approach this is the same whether or not it's working toward your goal or chipping away at the to do list. It's called planning. There are all sorts of experts out there who will help reduce the clutter on your desk, tidy your office and clean up your priority list. All good stuff. Stripped down to the barest what needs to be cleared first is your mind. One must understand why the block is there. If your honest with yourself and take a look you will see what it is. You don't like that part. You are not comfortable in that space. I expect if you study it and get comfortable with it the confidence level will go up. Perhaps you need to seek some outside help. If you look at it from the perspective that all the time spent on getting the first 95% done will go to waste if you do not finish the project. This alone is reason enough to complete the project. Take stock of yourself and learn how to put a value on your time.

You need to turn the "Have To" things into "Choose To" things to get those tough unfinished projects behind you. Just think of how your career will take off. Senior Management will come to you because you get the job done and done well. The most important factor in all this is the feeling of accomplishment. After all, your worth it. Aren't you?

Celebrating People Who Inspire Me

I have come to notice today both the strength and the fear in humility. It became obvious to me when I sent out six individual invitations to a small gathering I am holding next month for these people who inspire me.
The purpose is not self fulfilling but to let others know what they do and how they do it really matters. It is the success in their humility that makes them great in my eyes. They truly inspire me. In my eyes, they are worthy of praise.
What has transpired is what I expected to be a prompt yes became silence from three of the invitees. Upon reflection it is truly a reflection of their humility that they are possibly uncomfortable with being in the limelight even as small and intimate a gathering as it will be. I expect they were thinking why me. Whats Paul thinking?
It's a world filled with things we measure both at work and in our personal lives. I believe it is the things we don't measure that make people unique. My late father-in law used to say "Paul your are never a good shit until your dead. " "People will say the nicest things about you when your gone." Come to think of it, I believe he was right.
So why wait to say the nice things about deserving people until they are gone. The business world is quick to sing the praises of the captains of industry and commerce. We all know it takes talent and leadership to be a success in business. But, does it speak to who they are as a person? Some times in life it's not about the measurable things such as money. It's the soft side. The human side. The world has many people who are kind and caring. The people who inspire me are those who overcame personal challenges or who took risks to improve their lives and the lives of others including their families.
I await with excitement having these six amazing people who inspire me in the same room. Will it make me feel good? Of course it will. The real joy will be having the six people sharing their personal triumphs with each other without feeling boastful. Perhaps my little exercise will become contagious in that we will not have to wait until we are gone to have people say nice things about us. It's more than letting people know were thinking of them. It's about what we think of them.

Do You Like The Person You See In The Mirror?

It's January and I expect you're reflecting on the coming year. You are probably thinking about things you want to change in your life. The old saying "there is always room for improvement" is right. We all know there is no silver bullet in success. There are many factors that will improve your chances of success like hard work, determination, persistence, who you know and the most importantly pushing past your comfort zone.
I am three-quarters through the book "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Dr. Norman Doidge. The stories in the book of the people who over came tremendous odds to their mental challenges is extremely inspiring. The one common theme in the book is the brain can rewire itself if given the task. The old use it or lose it is a requirement for a healthy brain. This does not mean use it the same every day but quite the opposite. Dr. Doidge tells us we are victims of our habits. Our daily routines have our brains using the same brain passage ways to accomplish our daily requirements. This creates a lazy brain. I expect the comfort zone travels this route many times in the run of a day!
I expect you're asking what does all this brain stuff have to do with telling the truth to the person in the mirror? I see this as a critical step. Your brain will believe what you tell it. I feel it's easy to look in the mirror and say your a victim. I am who I am due to external circumstances. This belief is disguised as an excuse you believe as fact. It's like leaving the bill that came in the mail unopened. Even though you know it's not good news you believe if you ignore it that it will go away. What I don't know won't hurt me so to say.
If I have not hit a nerve with you yet then you need to spend some extra mirror time. Take a long look yourself and ask yourself the question. Am I being honest with myself?
Things do not change for the better by wishing it to be so. Your allowing external forces to guide your direction in life will only lead to discontent. Your life will change because you made a conscious decision to improve yourself. Deep down inside you know you must do this. Don't wait until tomorrow to have that look in the mirror. The first step is believing your worth it. Your family and your career deserve the best that you can possibly be.

Grow Through Change

It's December and you are likely taking stock of what lies ahead from the coming year. You are reflecting on things you want and things about yourself you want to change. To effectively achieve results you will need to embrace change. Growing through change has many positive effects on our lives. It is often the challenge many face as success is just outside our comfort zones. You may ask how does this relate to setting goals and making resolutions for the coming year?
We all know that we can't achieve success by doing things the same way we have for years. We also know that changing our habits and tendencies are extremely difficult yet we all dream of changing ourselves for the better. New Years resolutions are often related to stopping our habits we don't like in our lives. Things like weight, less drinking and smoking come to mind. There in lies the challenge. Stop is a negative. It's my belief we find success in seeking the positive. Focus on the benefit is my motto. Start to live like you are already there.
I ask why do you want to lose weight? You should believe you will be more attractive and healthier. Does it not make sense to seek being more attractive and healthier adverse to losing weight? Exactly. I have always liked the quote. "Success lies just outside your comfort zone". From what I have researched many lay claim or use this quote as their own. Irregardless of the quote, lets look at is this way.
Emotions and realities that reside in your comfort zone include.

• Where most of humanity resides.
• Depression.
• Mediocre.
• Same old same old.
• Just getting by.
• Poor health.
• Little control over your life.

What is just outside your comfort zone includes.

• Self confidence.
• Resilience.
• Good Health.
• Financial Success.
• Being sought after.
• Living Your Dream.
• Happiness.

Entrepreneurs and investors understand the term "risk reward" better than most. They know if I stretch and do this I will receive this. I am a huge believer in we are better to have tried and failed than not tried at all. We do after all learn so more from our failures than our successes. There in lies the difference between smart and wisdom.
The key is connecting the emotion with the desire and clearly knowing how the impending success will improve your life. The time you spend obtaining clarity is time well spent. You need to know what your dream is before you can start to live it. Embracing change takes the stress out of leaving your comfort zone. A dream is just a dream until you act on it.

Are You Spread Too Thin?

Three months have passed since I have written an article. It was not because I did not want to. The truth is I was just too darn busy and over committed. How did this happen? It's easy when we are not careful.
Personally for me it was like the perfect storm of time gobblers. I have aging parents both in their 90's who need my time. I have a very demanding day job that requires immediate action reacting to requests. I am a devoted Rotarian active at both the club level and on the District Leadership Team. I was also traveling on business for two weeks. On top of that I had four speaking engagements over that period requiring allot of preparation. Now you can easily see why I was over committed. Temporary yes, but it happened none the less.
Are you ever awakened at four in the morning thinking I have to get these things done? People are depending on me. If so it's time to shed some commitments and duties. I believe people get burned out from over commitment which causes stress. Two things happen when we are in this stressed state. We make bad decisions and more often than not make no decision at all.
The truth of the matter is very little gets accomplished when we are over committed. The old adage of give it to a busy person and they will get it done does not always hold true if they are over committed. So why do we allow ourselves to get in this space? Uncontrollable things will happen that require our time. Things like family issues that we can't say no to. These things will always appear in our lives. The real culprit is not having the ability to say no for a request of our time and expertise."
Here is what I do when my time gets maxed out.

1. I make an appointment with myself to review my commitments with the object that I am going to drop some commitments. Note, you will need some quiet time for this. No distractions.
2. I write down all my commitments. All of them!
3. I then prioritize my commitments into "have to" and "choose to."
4. I then schedule walking time. This helps clear my head. Exercise helps reduce stress.
5. I eliminate the least important of my commitments.
6. I repeat if necessary.

I consider myself a time management pro and I got caught. We all get caught up in things we are passionate about and say yes. My recommendation is the next time your asked to help or commit either say no or tell them you will let them know tomorrow after you check your schedule. You be glad you did.

Are You Dialed In

We have all heard the sayings, " In the Zone ", On top of it", "Plugged In" and "I'm focused" but how long have you been able to hold on to those thoughts. This is something I have struggled with most of my life being an ADD. The high energy and emotions of ADD leave most ADD's in their late teens but some of the traits or symptoms of ADD get to hang around for most of our lives. Being easily bored is also a trait that's tough to shake. ADD's need to be stimulated. My ADD hang over became perfectly clear last fall while I was attending an organizations leadership weekend. A friend reached over and whispered in my ear " Your a sprinter aren't you?" He asked me this following my stating I was unable to fulfill a commitment and I had to step down as chair of a committee. That statement "Your a sprinter aren't you" has been rattling around in my mind ever since.
We can all be dialed in but how long can you stay in the zone? Truly successful people manage to stay on target and do not lose sight of their target. This I believe is a true measure of their commitment to a project or goal. My thought is many of us set ourselves up to fail because the objective or the time frame is too short. We simply lose interest or burn ourselves out before we get the job completed. I think every one suffers from this and not just ADD's.
Here is what I have learned works for me and I expect these reminders can work for you as well.

1. Just slow down.
2. Determine how bad you want it and in some cases what do others expect from you?
3. Is the time frame realistic? Can you accomplish what needs to be accomplished in the alloted time?
4. Where does the goal fit into you list of priorities? In other words will you have to give something else up to achieve this.
5. Is this a "have to" or "a want to" objective or goal?
6. Do you have an emotional attachment. Is this a burning desire. Emotional attachment helps but can it can cloud your judgement.
7. If the commitment or goal involves others be sure to share concerns with the others involved. Deadlines can be a mixed blessing.
8. Don't say yes to a commitment before you think it through?

My friend who suggested I was a sprinter was correct. My high energy and commitment was connected to a worthy cause. I wanted it. It felt right. I said yes for all the right reasons. The conflict was all the other things going on in my life that were important too. In short being dialed in is a pretty big space. The goal and the dream needs to be very clear. Disappointing ourselves is one thing. Disappointing others can be disastrous. The zone is a space that exists between the start and the finish line. Only you can determine the speed at which you travel that distance.

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Are you beating yourself up over a bad decision compounded by an unsatisfactory outcome? It's been a few weeks however the pain remains long past when you should have let it go. Why can't you let go? Are you afraid to let go? Does any one really care other than yourself? Have you ever had a conversation with yourself about what I have just asked?
I know that last sentence can sting but it is a valid question. I expect you are more worried about the event gone wrong than others. Now if you have let others down or broken a commitment then that is a whole other issue. No matter the issue you need to deal with it and move on.
Here are some easy steps to help you let go.

• Did the event impact any one else? If so go see them and talk it through. I expect they may have seen the event differently than you. Start the conversation with, I am feeling uncomfortable about a recent issue and I am looking for your view on the events. Can you help me out? The fact you have approached them asking for assistance will help defuse any hard feelings if there are any. Remember you have asked for help and clarification.


• Get to work on something that will put your mind somewhere else. Dwelling on the negative will just add salt to the wound. The old adage"keep busy" helps. Time does not heal all wounds but is does for most the bumps and scrapes we have encountered in our lives.


• What did you learn from the experience that will make you tougher and mentally stronger. This is key. Write it down so it will be more lasting. It's not that you will never go down that road again. If you do, you would do it differently next time. Lessons are powerful tools.


• What can you do to turn this negative into a positive. Once you figure that out, do it as soon as possible. Others who were impacted by your error as well as yourself will be able to move on sooner.

Every one makes mistakes. The most successful people on the earth all tell us they made many mistakes on the road to success. You can bet they did not spend allot of time beating themselves up or dwelling on a mistake. They know the best thing is to get over it and move on. Yesterday is History. History is filled with lessons learned. Today is filled with an abundance of opportunity. Go pursue your dreams. Success is closer than you think.

Dealing With Adversity

Adversity simply put is a road block or detour. It can also be seen as a way to test that you are on the right track. Adversity also has a way of sapping your energy and often leads to your giving up. Why does life seem such a struggle? Isn't life meant to be easier than this?
I believe that wisdom comes from two areas. Having witnessed the experience and having lived the experience. I expect there are those who feel that wisdom is gained from reading and study. I can accept that to some extent however the emotional part does not exist in reading or study. Whats the adversity in that? Their in lies the benefit. The experiences that knock the starch out of you, we remember the most. These events often leave you feeling you have failed or you are faced with making the wrong decision. I believe it's the lessons that come from adversity that make you mentally stronger leading you to your eventual success.
I expect it's said the best way to avoid adversity is to just keep cruising and never stretch ourselves. What's the point of that? Sounds like a recipe for a life without purpose or meaning. It's a proven fact that people who live life with a purpose and stretch themselves live a longer and happier life.
There is a good reason you should push yourselves to be better than you were last year, last week or yesterday. It's for your health and your self-esteem. It's about making the world a better place because of our actions. Meaningful change in yourself impacts others such as your families and co-workers.
These reasons are why you should set out knowing there will be resistance to your plans and actions. The resistance often comes from those who fear change. It's uncomfortable for them. Why should you allow them to set the agenda. It's your life. I recommend you share your dreams and aspirations with your loved ones and business associates. If they do not know why you are doing what you do they will question your motives. The sharing of your intentions is a way of removing some of the resistance before you set out to make changes.
Adversity is your close and honest friend. That's what good friends do. Strong friendships are not the easy ones. They are strong because of a bond knowing that you will be there for each other when things get tough. Your embracing adversity says that your ready to take yourself to the next level. Success is found in those who started out knowing there will be setbacks and adversity. Successful people also know adversity and resistance makes them stronger. Join the success team and fly past those afraid to take the road less traveled.

The Power Of Delayed Gratification

We are living in a microwave society. It has become an instant world. Thanks to the power of advertising, we have been told time and time again. We can have it now. When we look at this from a success standpoint, the skies start to get cloudy. The real question becomes how long do you have to wait until you get the reward for your efforts and desires. The money managers of the world will tell you that your better to be earning interest than paying interest. You know that they are right. But why can't you wait?
I just love the Mark Twain quotation "People are spending money they have not earned yet to impress people they don't like". Upon reflection you will discover there is not allot depth to instant gratification. Don't think for one minute that I am a master of this theory. I struggle with this like many of you. At my age the need to impress others has diminished. Yes, we all have an ego to fuel however I suggest to you there are many ways to quench that thirst.
Studies have shown that people who are able to delay gratification have higher intelligence. This makes sense as people with higher intelligence are often better educated. These people understand the importance of the passage of time. Yes, this is a tough theory to digest for the living life in the moment crowd. Can we consider a university education as a form of delayed gratification? I guess we could say that as they are delaying earning money now so they can later earn more money in a career that they want. One glaring example of instant gratification is the high turnover of jobs. Intelligent people are switching companies to earn more money at the drop of the hat. This activity often results with less than the expected out come.
As a person who has struggled with delayed gratification for much of my life I have learned the following tips to better practice this important principle of success.

• Set a target or goal you must first obtain before you purchase a vacation or new vehicle.
• Study the landscape of opportunity in your current company of employment before you jump ship. There is a reward for patience especially if you are a consistent performer.
• Create a Vision Board that not only has material things you want on it, but also copies of credit card statements that show a zero balance.
• Delay making decisions until you have thoroughly thought them through.
• Be cognitive of the consequences from making snap decisions that have lasting effects.

I believe that the longer you can delay the gratification the bigger the reward. This does not mean that you have to live life with a seat belt on. The best outcomes most always follow careful consideration. Success is often dependent on your tolerance for delayed gratification.

Are Things As Tough As You Perceive Them To Be?

One eyes can play tricks with your mind regarding what goes on outside your own world.  Visions of nice cars coupled with vacation advertising that whisk you off to far away exotic places all create a false sense of desire. Your credit card balance continually grows to an uncomfortable balance .  The polish may have fallen off the apple in the relationship with your partner.  It goes on and on.  It's easy to allow yourself to get caught up in the life is better on the other side of the street.  To much TV will do that to a person. 20% of the time in front of the television is watching commercials.  This is where the illusion that all is well with everyone else but me, sneaks into your life. You become consumed with the notion that life has dealt you a difficult hand. No wonder you feel you have been short changed.

Pleasantville and not the movie is actually closer than you think.  I expect your living it and you don't know it. Perception can be reality just like the saying says. I suggest you perceive you already have abundance. If you don't it will soon come to you. I suggest to you just about every individual on the earth has issues that bring them stress and sadness.
So how can you get back to a mindset of abundance. How can you make that perception a reality.  Here are some ideas that have worked for me.

• Start a gratitude journal.  Yes I know what your thinking. Do it. Take a minute to write to paper all the wonderful things you have in your life. Concentrate on the non material things. Write until you can't think of any more.  Now do it every day.  You will most likely find you already have abundance.
• The best way not to have buyers remorse is not to buy it. Trust me. It urge will go away. I have never seen a trailer with all your worldly possessions being pulled behind a hearse.  Have you? You can not take your possessions with you when you die but you get to take love and your memories.
• Spend more time with your friends that are not into showing off possessions.  Remember Will Smith's famous saying. " Too many people spend money they have not earned yet to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
• Eat healthy and exercise. Exercise helps clear the clutter from your mind. 
• Create a new habit that will change your outlook on life. It may be as simple as writing in your gratitude journal. Do it every day for 30 days.

We all have heard, in our lives, that money can not buy happiness. I say money can but only if your mentally grounded and not driven to impress like Will Smith told us. Money can provide you with financial security. Spending it on material things will only bring you temporary happiness.  I suggest you first come to the understanding that love of friends and family is earned by who you are. I expect you already have it and did not know it.

Make 2013 The Year You Stop Making Excuses

Excuses are a way of saying I did not have the guts to do it. I was afraid of the outcome. I see an excuse as a way of saying I'm normal. I am just plain lazy or it wasn't that important. Why would I stretch myself? Take a hard look at yourself. If your saying this to yourself and your OK with that your in trouble. I'm suggesting you dig down deep. Make a resolution, that 2013 is the year you stopped making excuses.
How many times have we heard governments say we did not make our target budget because the revenue did not come in as expected. The economy performed below expectations. We all just roll our eyes and say it's government. What else would we expect. Forget the fact they are ruining the future for our children. We have actually allowed the excuse to creep into our every day lives to. It's somebody else's fault. Would you be willing to have government or external forces tell us to turn left and turn right at their will. I sure hope not. Why do we continue to allow this to happen in our every day lives. You will never grow as a person and more importantly as a parent if we accept an excuse of ourselves.
Here is what I believe happens when we stop making excuses.

• When we stop making excuses we actually take control of our lives. Yes, there is a catch. It means that you will actually have to do what you said you were going to do.
• You will gain trust and respect from others. "Now there's a person of their word".
• It causes us to think before we open our mouth and commit to something knowing full well you have to do it.
• Yes is easier than saying no. No is often the right answer especially if you won't do what you said you would do. Think of the consequences on your character.
• Make no mistake that it is only by your actions you are remembered.
• When you stop making excuses you don't have to remember what you said.

I suggest you start to listen to yourself when you talk. Have the guts to say no and mean it. If you think your hurting someones feelings by saying no, think again. You are hurting your reputation even more by saying yes and not doing it. Live your life excuse free. Convince yourself that you resolve to not make excuses this year. Your credibility needs an awakening. Make 2013 the year you will actually do what you said you will do.

The Road To Success Is Paved With A Positive Attitude

Staying upbeat and in the zone requires being in tune to your emotions. I also believe having a positive attitude is closely tied to a belief that you have the talent and the ability to get it done. For some this comes easy. For most it's a difficult.
Navel gazing can be a good thing if you like the possibilities of what life will bring you. To get to this mindset of a positive attitude you must push back the limiting beliefs that were created from your previous failures. These limiting beliefs could have also come from a poor support system in your childhood. So just how do we get to this condition of a positive attitude? I am certain the six tasks below will get you started.

• First, I believe you need to identify what it is you want in life and be firmly committed to that desire. Establishing the emotional pull becomes a pleasure point that will help strengthen your commitment.


• Secondly, you need to identify the negative people in your life and start to work on changing who your friends are. As tough as it may seem, make a list of the negative people in your life and make a commitment to drop them from your circle of friends. Why would you ever call someone a friend who is constantly pulling you back?


• Thirdly, is to start to meet and hang out with achievers and people who can help bring you up a notch. It's like that old saying " Success breeds success." Join a Networking Group.


• Fourthly, is to do something to improve your job or your career. This may be to take a course to upgrade your skills. Meet with your boss and have that heart to heart and express that you are genuinely committed to growing in this company.


• Fifth is what I feel to be one of the most important steps. Find a mentor. Find that someone who has earned success. This is a person you can emulate. A good mentor will help you grow and provide sound advise regarding your future success.


• Lastly is to get your hands on some inspirational books or videos. Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield just to name two. Tony has clips on YouTube. Jack does free tel-conferences on a monthly basis. 1000's attend each call. Tons of free material can be found on the internet. These inspirational leaders will help get you pumped and they will keep you pumped. Most important. They will help keep you on track.

Having a positive attitude is one thing. Staying positive when things are going against you is another beast altogether. Understanding that setbacks are a part of life and that setbacks are only temporary is key. Setbacks are life's way of measuring your commitment to success. A positive attitude will get you up and running faster. It's the fuel of your success.

Are You Pushing Business Or Pulling Business ?

Time and time again sales people have pitched me with features and benefits before they have even asked me if I have any knowledge of what they have to sell or program they propose. They just keep talking and move to a close. Two things come to my mind. That poor person just does not get it. Even worse that poor person's boss does not get it. These types of people are the types who give sales people a bad wrap. I honestly could not sleep at night having sold someone something they did not need or want.

We all have to carve a living out of life. Some of us get the chance to do what really turns us on. How good is that? For me I get to do two things that really excite me. One is being the sales leader for a contact centre. I work with companies who have some pain in their processes that I help resolve. Having been an entrepreneur most of my life I know that the biggest issue with business is growing business. More important is growing business profitably. Most successful business owners know they can't be good at all things. Basically I love helping my customers grow their business. I am also a business coach. I help my clients turn their dreams into successful businesses. I also help business owners turn their struggling companies around. This is all very rewarding to me. I am a lucky guy. For me it's not sales.

I ask that you think hard about what I have stated in the previous paragraph. I get joy in helping other people find their success. The only way I can do this is to find out what they want to achieve. I can only do this by asking questions. This is where the pulling business part kicks in. It is only through asking the questions and really listening that the solution become obvious. I should point out that it should also be obvious for your customer or client too. It is when you get to this stage you can then ask your potential customer how would it feel if this was the solution that would benefit their business. Please note that I have asked two questions here. One was the emotional part and the second being the good for your business part. I truly believe if you marry the two questions together and the answer is yes to both you have sale. The potential customer came to the determination of what they need to do. They are making the purchase. I did not sell them anything. This is what I call pulling business.

I agree that at some point of the process there has to be a features and benefits conversation. To be really successful at selling you have to be good at pulling. This is achieved by asking good and thought provoking questions. It is only after answering these questions that you can move to the benefits and successful ending. My experience is, don't rush. It pays to be patient. When your customer has made a purchasing decision it has been made for the right reasons. Have you noticed that no where in this article did I mention price? If you do not focus on the price your potential customer will not focus on the price either. Isn't it time you started pulling your way to successful selling?

Life Lessons In This Message

We as humans generally become more risk adverse as we mature. Why do you suppose that happens? I believe there are two answers to that question. With age one has less time to recover from a set back, financial or otherwise. The second is that we have become conditioned to react from certain events because we have been there before. I will share some of what I have learned from both my successes and my failures. Making sound decisions should be a process whether you are young or old. This is where the study and reading part plays a role. Knowledge can be learned through study, while wisdom for the most part is earned.
Quite simply it shapes up this way. I have been broke twice in my life and lived to tell about it. Yes, this builds character but it should not have to be that way. Both set backs were a result of bad decisions. In both instances I was owner of bricks and mortar businesses. Yes industry consolidations played a large role in the failures. But, to be perfectly honest some impulsive decisions in my personal life played a big part as well. You will notice on my Linkedin Profile that my education is a Masters In Common Sense. I can honestly say I gained this degree the hard way. I grew up with a strong family background that included decency and work ethic. The common belief in our home was this is a land of opportunity and you have loads of talent. I did not formally go to university however I was continually taking courses in business as well as attending personal development workshops. I was heavily engaged in personal development long before it became in vogue. Being an ADHD I knew I must invest time in this area, as it would help me be more cognitive of my decisions. I believed it would help me make more rational decisions. For the most part it did. ADHD's are emotionally charged and running with your heart is not always the best practice. This life course has brought me to where I am today as a coach to business owners. I have learned that many entrepreneurs get so emotionally involved it often clouds the decisions they must make.
One of life's toughest experiences came during a period when I owned a small business with a staff of 12. It was a successful business for 9 years followed by 2 years of a living hell. A consolidation in the industry coupled with a large life style left myself and the business with little wiggle room during a down turn in the economy. I lost everything including my pride. I managed to hold on to our house with the help of family. Through these times I lost my self-esteem and confidence. I hit rock bottom. I wondered. Could things ever get better? I can assure you they can.
This is where the lesson part comes in. I felt I always took the responsibility for my actions. For the most part that is true but it is easy to blame external forces. I also blamed these external forces as a form of personal denial. Taking responsibility for your actions is only half of what is required for you to move on after such events. One must make changes in how we approach the next steps. More of the same way of doing things will produce the same results. You need to understand why things went wrong. Were these events things you had control over? If that is the case it's time for some real soul-searching and understanding of yourself. Ask yourself. Is a change required of your habits and the way you do things? You have to peel back the layers of the onion and see what's in the middle. Often there is a smell associated with this exercise. It takes courage to look that deeply inside ones inner self. I did it and I moved forward.
Lessons can also be learned from our successes. I believe time should be taken to reflect and learn from our success. It's only natural to take success for granted. Success and victory feel great and do not carry the anguish and pain that comes from failure. You should take a step back and look at what took place to reach your goal. Was there pain, or were there roadblocks that you over came? What I have learned from my success as a businessperson is that I work well with people. I love to grow business and relationships. I am good at letting staff be the best they can be and to allow them to learn from their mistakes and to grow. What I am not good at is too much structure and repetitive work. I hate being managed. I need things to be fresh and engaging. I like strategic thinking that is solution based. I like projects because they have a beginning and an end. I ask many of my clients. Whats your end game with your company? What's your exit strategy? Many do not have an exit strategy. You should build your life or business plan around that outcome. That was one of my toughest lessons in business. I had an opportunity to sell my business at it's height. The irony is that three years later the business collapsed. You can not begin to appreciate the pain associated with that decision. But I learned from that.
Yes the toughest lessons come from failure. It is through your failures that you are able to have bigger success in the future. Success is rarely easy. You see, even in success we often say to our selves "I would do it a little differently next time".

Achieve Success By Managing Your Goals

Normally I do not focus on myself when writing success tips however due to a series of personal events the past year, I was forced to reevaluate some of my goals. What took place caused me to focus even more intensely on some goals and put other goals in the parking lot.

For my regular readers you will notice I have not written an article in 9 weeks. This is a big change after a steady pace of writing an article a week for over 15 months. So what happened? Several things. I took the lead on a huge project at work that consumed a ton of hours. The result of these efforts will make a huge difference to the company and it also means I will achieve my income goals for this year. What became very clear is my number one goal was receiving most of the attention.

One of the events that took place is both my parents broke their hips 8 months apart if you can imagine that. Being with them has taken up much of my time. Both these events were beyond my control. But they happened. My being there for my parents is extremely important to me and that caused me to prioritize my time to accommodate what was important. More importantly I had to evaluate the goals I would have the time to work toward.

These following four things had to be put on the back burner because there was not enough time to achieve them.

1. My weekly article writing became unimportant.


2. My 20 mile a week walking regime dropped way off which put my target weight goal on hold.


3. The book I am working on fell right off the radar with the completion date being pushed out. I have allowed myself two years.


4. I had to cut down on my volunteer work. Perhaps the toughest one to put on hold. Doing this without having some guilt was difficult for me. I have so much to be thankful for it's hard to imagine cutting back on my giving.


5. What did take off as a result of adjusting my goals were these three things. All good things to be proud of.


6. The number of new big accounts has taken off at work. This as a result of my diligent and well planned marketing to an untapped market. These new deals are very strategic and rewarding. I am helping other companies grow their business. As an entrepreneur for many years of my life it is a total sense of joy. Building business is what entrepreneurs do. What a rush.


7. My coaching and mentoring career is starting to take flight. Once again I am helping others grow and prosper. This is a very rewarding experience.


8. Thirdly I am spending more quality time with my family. All four generations of them. I do this with intention and purpose. I do not leave it to chance that I will have the free time. I accomplish this by scheduling this time with my family.

So what's the lesson here? What has become very clear is that we must always stay conscious of our goals. Reviewing and measuring these goals at least several times a week it critical to your success. Prioritize your goals and adjust them so they are clear and relevant. My goals that were placed in the parking lot are not dead. I simply say they are in hibernation. One thing for certain is if your not committed to a goal then it's not well thought out. If you are going to do it, make sure it is for the right reason. Some of your goals may become less important in time. This is much the same in life as what matters changes with age. You should be OK with that. Does it not make sense to excel with fewer stretch goals than achieve six easy ones? Exactly.

The real bonus for me is that my most important goals are flourishing. Yours can too. I am having so much fun achieving my most important goals and I have a renewed energy. I know that I am being the best that I can be. Our staff depends on that. Our customers deserve that too. The time I have spent writing this article has also freshened my love to write. That goal of completing my book is not lost. Success is in your grasp too. Managing your goals will give you a boost toward your future success. Take the time to do this. Your worth it.

Success Takes Energy And Focus

Staying focused on our goals can be very difficult when our energy levels come and go. This thought came to mind this morning as I am out of town on business and feeling this desire to just loaf the day away. I have a lovely hotel room overlooking the harbor and it has put my mind at ease. I have been on a great run with business this pass year. I have also been busy writing my book and planning my Executive Coaching business. The tug of war is on. Relax or get at it. The pace I have been going at has robbed me of some energy. I find when the energy level drops, so does the focus. The two are very much connected.

So my challenge today is to write an article on success then complete a presentation I am presenting as a guest speaker on Tuesday morning. I am presenting to an executive team tomorrow morning on a large project our company is proposing to a client. I have in my brief case a book and CD for an exercise and weight loss program I want to start. I also have some reading and studying to do for my coaching business. My website needs some updating. It looks like today is not a day for procrastination. Loafing is out of the question. I am focused. I could feel overwhelmed but I am not. I am just not sure my energy level is there. It's time to create some energy. I will be back.

So I now have some renewed energy. It came from going to the Hotel Health Club and hopping on the tread mill for 45 minutes. Yes exercise can and will increase your energy level. I ran out to the supermarket and got some healthier food. A salad, apples and soda water. I am certain a lunch full of carbs would have me taking a long after noon nap. So here I am, back at it.

Before you say don't bore me with all this Paul, ask yourself how often does this happen to you? You just blow off the day. Exactly. If this is what you do, tomorrow is going to be a day that controls you. Why? Because you are not fully prepared. You will be rushing and reacting. You will be exhausted at the end of the day and not certain of the outcomes from your day. What an awful place to be.

So here is the process that went through my mind this morning. It's about making a deliberate decision.

• I created a list of the have to do, followed by choose to.
• I prioritized them.
• I looked at the time I had to complete them.
• I reminded my self that I will be sailing to Bermuda and taking two weeks of in June.
• I reminded myself that I am going to Australia for three weeks this September.

The decision became easy. I was going to have a ton of what I call "gliding days" coming up. So as you can tell I have finished my article and I am now getting to work on Tuesday's speech which is already written in my head. I just need to get it to paper. Next I will get at my website. Make some necessary changes. Then have a half hour nap. I will then do some studying while I watch the golf. I will review tomorrows presentation this evening. The diet and exercise program will have to wait. But wait. I did get my exercise in and I ate healthy. Not a bad result for a winter Sunday in a hotel room.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6905020

Achieve Greatness Through The Power Of Thought

This past week I read the "Science of Being Great' by Wallace Wattles. It has been an interesting read as it follows the line of his book "The Science Of Getting Rich". Once again the emphasis is on the power of thought. Wattles believes that we must work and focus on greatness but we are not to rush. For if we are shallow and unprepared people will not seek our advise. If we are boastful others will not seek your advise and in fact likely avoid you. Wattles believes and I agree we can become great by reading, understanding life's experiences, thinking and through your actions. Wisdom is in fact earned and gained through experience. No one is born with wisdom. The key is that we are truly judged by our actions. Words are just that. Words unless supported by actions.

The book "The Secret" is perhaps the most widely read book of the past decade. "The Secret" is in fact about the power of attraction. Each chapter in the book is written by experts in the fields of the law of attraction and the power of thought. The books purpose was really to bringing about what you dream about and think about. This all makes perfect sense. For example it is unlikely we do not end up as a doctors if we dreamed or envisioned being a fireman. This I believe is all gained through a thought that became planted in our minds. How good we become at it, is how well we thought it through. That what we visualized in our mind does in fact become reality. Lets call this thought, the seed. From there it grows. However we must fertilize the seed with thoughts of completion. I believe the teachings in "The Secret" to be actual fact. The thoughts that we truly believe will become truths. This can all take place no matter if your rich or poor. The first step toward greatness starts with a clear vision.

A dream is just a dream if you do not act upon it. I believe this to be the most important part that many of the authors left out of "the Secret". It is critical to your success that you remove all doubt that it can be achieved. For if you doubt your thoughts, you are not committed to achieve it. You must fill your mind with positive thought. Thoughts that will carry your dreams and aspirations to reality. Greatness does not fall out of the sky. The eureka moment will appear because you brought that action toward you. The eureka moment is really a crystallization of what you believed would happen. The eureka moment becomes the proof that you can bring about, what you think about. This is also the title of a great book written by Eddie Lemoine. " Bring About What You Think About"

This thought process can be hard to grasp when your stuck in the dreaming stage. You must narrow down your thoughts to small details. Dreams are really what we wish for. A wish is just that. A wish. The last time I looked, The Silver Bullet was a beer commercial. There is now fast and easy way to achieve greatness just like there is no Silver Bullet. Success in becoming great comes after you take the thought from your mind into acting it out in real life. From the Morning and Evening Thoughts of James Allen's book "As a Man thinketh". "Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. A person becomes calm in the measure that they understand ones self as a though evolved being."

To become great you must believe you are in fact, great. This is accomplished from starting with a positive attitude. However, it is from deep thought and a true belief that you will achieve greatness that you will in fact, achieve greatness.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6782706

Can You Simplify Your Life And Be Successful?

Just this week I was going through some boxes in the garage. Not looking for anything in particular. I came across some old photographs of when I had hair on the top of my head. Plaques acknowledging all the boards I used to sit on. Great memories. Then I came upon a box that had some books I had read years ago. One of then a little gem. "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Dr. Richard Carleson. So I pulled the book out of the box and brought it in from the garage.

What a wonderful and light thinking book this is. Each chapter is just two or three pages with a little nugget in each chapter. I felt it would be fun to read just a couple of chapters a day. I smiled to myself thinking this would be a great way to help me really concentrate on slowing down. My life too can be hectic with all the community service work I do. Yes I do over commit. I surrender. But I get so much back from all the giving I do.

One of the little nuggets I read this morning was this. "There will still be things on your to do list the day you die". The to do list is a working document. It lives and has a life all it's own. That's why there is always things on it to do. Weather or not the screen on the patio door gets repaired today or next week is not life altering. The lesson from this is slow down and enjoy your life. Many things in our lives can indeed, wait until tomorrow.

So the question remains can you slow down and still achieve success? Absolutely. So how do we approach this? It's always a great time to plan for the coming year. So lets not leave it until December 28th or 29th or make them News Year's Resolutions. These changes in the way we lead our lives will take some reflection and some planning. So let's have some fun. If you have the ability to laugh at yourself this exercise will be easy. Why you ask? Because we all know we have these little quirks. Quirks about ourselves that we know we should change. Are you are a list completer? Having lists are good. Having them control our day in and day out lives is tragic.

So here we go.

1. Pull out your to do list and see what lays there.
2. Next is to start a new list but put the items in order of importance.
3. Now is a good time to add or delete items with the emphasis being on delete.
4. The next step is to put completion dates on them and makes sure you have left lots of time to complete them.
5. You may not add new items on the to do list unless it something like the garage door stopped working. Only "have to" things can be added to the list until you have mastered management of your list.
6. The second last step is to schedule these "to do" things in your diary. Yes, the day on which you will do them.
7. The last and most important step is to schedule free time in your diary. Time to read, sleep, go hiking. Go to a movie with your kids. Schedule time you are not doing task related activities.

Here in lies the prize. I expect your saying this is to simple an approach. That's the purpose of this exercise. Simplification. Why should we choose to live life the hard way? I personally believe we can achieve our goals and stay on track and enjoy your down time. Going slow from time to time will allow you to better enjoy the journey. Going slow will allow you time to reflect and to make better decisions because you thought them through. I suggest you learn to embrace your to do list. Once you take this approach you will take ownership of the list instead of the list taking ownership of you. Your family and state of mind will thank you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6738082

Finding Success - How to Conquer Fear of Failure

Overcoming the fear of failure is one of the toughest things we will have to do in life. It will come in many forms and at different times. It's the biggest cause of call reluctance with sales people and the biggest obstacle in employee performance. What if they say no? What if I mess up? What will my friends think of me if I screw up?

Lets be honest. We all want to succeed. We all want the admiration of our colleagues and our friends. However this validation and admiration we desire must be earned. There is no silver bullet. It's easier for some than others but everyone must at some point push through what they do not want to do. If it was easy we would all be doing it. There is no single recipe for success.

I was fortunate to learn about dealing with failure at an early age. Failure to me was not winning. It was not until later in life that I came to understand that being around the top was good too. Having been a competitive ski racer and sailor I was motivated by winning. I learned that when we went to the results board at the end of the day every one looked to see where they placed. The second place you looked was to see who won. No one looked at who was at the bottom first, or in fact at all. Headlines on the sports page of the news paper don't read. "John Doe Came in Last." If you were on the bottom, odds are you were the only one who noticed. Yes it hurts but there is only one way to move up the leader board. That's through hard work, practice and persistence.

I will pass along these few steps that should help you get past the fear of failure. 

• The first part of getting past the fear of what will happen if the potential customer says no. Well it's part of the job. Everybody does not say yes. It's about the product or service you are selling or promoting and not about you. Can you increase your performance with practice and good coaching. Yes. Simply put. Get it in your head that what is happening to you happens to everyone. Others don't share or broadcast their losses either. They learn from them.
• What will happen if we didn't quite get it right at work. Well, if we have a nurturing and mentoring boss they will likely help you though what has happened. Lets remember that their success is somewhat tied to yours. The key here is to ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of strength and not of weakness. Express to them that you want to be better. Who in their right mind is going to say no?
• If you are unable to get to the space of having self-confidence I suggest you find a coach who will help you get there. I have used a coach numerous times in my life. Many of my readers know I have a had a few hits in my life. I got through them all and some times I needed help. There is no sin in that. They helped make me stronger.

Take action now to get past these feelings of fear. Anxiety can do all kings of crazy things with your mind. To move forward in achieving your goals you need to have a clear mind. Focus is not a buzz word. It is for real. You can only reach for what is clear in your mind. What happens in the process of getting there is just that. A process. Don't beat yourself up. You have what it takes. Being your own biggest cheerleader is a good place to start.