Why Is The Last 5% So Hard To Do?

Most everyone has those unfinished projects. They exist everywhere from fixing the little things around the house to very important projects at the office. I feel the first 95% is in the choose to range while the last 5% lives in the have to range. Have to lives where you don't like to go. The sticky gooey stuff. The little details. Have to is like work. Choose to is like fun. This is a rather simple observation but a grunt in real life. No one want's to do what they don't like doing.
Where does the answer lie? The smart money knows you do the part you don't like to do first. Once that's behind you it's clear sailing. The very best sales people do this when they have call reluctance. Get those first few calls behind them in the morning. Beware of what happens when you leave it to the afternoon. Your day has become busy doing stuff. Procrastination rarely shows up in the choose to realm.

I believe the best way to approach this is the same whether or not it's working toward your goal or chipping away at the to do list. It's called planning. There are all sorts of experts out there who will help reduce the clutter on your desk, tidy your office and clean up your priority list. All good stuff. Stripped down to the barest what needs to be cleared first is your mind. One must understand why the block is there. If your honest with yourself and take a look you will see what it is. You don't like that part. You are not comfortable in that space. I expect if you study it and get comfortable with it the confidence level will go up. Perhaps you need to seek some outside help. If you look at it from the perspective that all the time spent on getting the first 95% done will go to waste if you do not finish the project. This alone is reason enough to complete the project. Take stock of yourself and learn how to put a value on your time.

You need to turn the "Have To" things into "Choose To" things to get those tough unfinished projects behind you. Just think of how your career will take off. Senior Management will come to you because you get the job done and done well. The most important factor in all this is the feeling of accomplishment. After all, your worth it. Aren't you?

Celebrating People Who Inspire Me

I have come to notice today both the strength and the fear in humility. It became obvious to me when I sent out six individual invitations to a small gathering I am holding next month for these people who inspire me.
The purpose is not self fulfilling but to let others know what they do and how they do it really matters. It is the success in their humility that makes them great in my eyes. They truly inspire me. In my eyes, they are worthy of praise.
What has transpired is what I expected to be a prompt yes became silence from three of the invitees. Upon reflection it is truly a reflection of their humility that they are possibly uncomfortable with being in the limelight even as small and intimate a gathering as it will be. I expect they were thinking why me. Whats Paul thinking?
It's a world filled with things we measure both at work and in our personal lives. I believe it is the things we don't measure that make people unique. My late father-in law used to say "Paul your are never a good shit until your dead. " "People will say the nicest things about you when your gone." Come to think of it, I believe he was right.
So why wait to say the nice things about deserving people until they are gone. The business world is quick to sing the praises of the captains of industry and commerce. We all know it takes talent and leadership to be a success in business. But, does it speak to who they are as a person? Some times in life it's not about the measurable things such as money. It's the soft side. The human side. The world has many people who are kind and caring. The people who inspire me are those who overcame personal challenges or who took risks to improve their lives and the lives of others including their families.
I await with excitement having these six amazing people who inspire me in the same room. Will it make me feel good? Of course it will. The real joy will be having the six people sharing their personal triumphs with each other without feeling boastful. Perhaps my little exercise will become contagious in that we will not have to wait until we are gone to have people say nice things about us. It's more than letting people know were thinking of them. It's about what we think of them.

Make 2013 The Year You Stop Making Excuses

Excuses are a way of saying I did not have the guts to do it. I was afraid of the outcome. I see an excuse as a way of saying I'm normal. I am just plain lazy or it wasn't that important. Why would I stretch myself? Take a hard look at yourself. If your saying this to yourself and your OK with that your in trouble. I'm suggesting you dig down deep. Make a resolution, that 2013 is the year you stopped making excuses.
How many times have we heard governments say we did not make our target budget because the revenue did not come in as expected. The economy performed below expectations. We all just roll our eyes and say it's government. What else would we expect. Forget the fact they are ruining the future for our children. We have actually allowed the excuse to creep into our every day lives to. It's somebody else's fault. Would you be willing to have government or external forces tell us to turn left and turn right at their will. I sure hope not. Why do we continue to allow this to happen in our every day lives. You will never grow as a person and more importantly as a parent if we accept an excuse of ourselves.
Here is what I believe happens when we stop making excuses.

• When we stop making excuses we actually take control of our lives. Yes, there is a catch. It means that you will actually have to do what you said you were going to do.
• You will gain trust and respect from others. "Now there's a person of their word".
• It causes us to think before we open our mouth and commit to something knowing full well you have to do it.
• Yes is easier than saying no. No is often the right answer especially if you won't do what you said you would do. Think of the consequences on your character.
• Make no mistake that it is only by your actions you are remembered.
• When you stop making excuses you don't have to remember what you said.

I suggest you start to listen to yourself when you talk. Have the guts to say no and mean it. If you think your hurting someones feelings by saying no, think again. You are hurting your reputation even more by saying yes and not doing it. Live your life excuse free. Convince yourself that you resolve to not make excuses this year. Your credibility needs an awakening. Make 2013 the year you will actually do what you said you will do.

The Road To Success Is Paved With A Positive Attitude

Staying upbeat and in the zone requires being in tune to your emotions. I also believe having a positive attitude is closely tied to a belief that you have the talent and the ability to get it done. For some this comes easy. For most it's a difficult.
Navel gazing can be a good thing if you like the possibilities of what life will bring you. To get to this mindset of a positive attitude you must push back the limiting beliefs that were created from your previous failures. These limiting beliefs could have also come from a poor support system in your childhood. So just how do we get to this condition of a positive attitude? I am certain the six tasks below will get you started.

• First, I believe you need to identify what it is you want in life and be firmly committed to that desire. Establishing the emotional pull becomes a pleasure point that will help strengthen your commitment.


• Secondly, you need to identify the negative people in your life and start to work on changing who your friends are. As tough as it may seem, make a list of the negative people in your life and make a commitment to drop them from your circle of friends. Why would you ever call someone a friend who is constantly pulling you back?


• Thirdly, is to start to meet and hang out with achievers and people who can help bring you up a notch. It's like that old saying " Success breeds success." Join a Networking Group.


• Fourthly, is to do something to improve your job or your career. This may be to take a course to upgrade your skills. Meet with your boss and have that heart to heart and express that you are genuinely committed to growing in this company.


• Fifth is what I feel to be one of the most important steps. Find a mentor. Find that someone who has earned success. This is a person you can emulate. A good mentor will help you grow and provide sound advise regarding your future success.


• Lastly is to get your hands on some inspirational books or videos. Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield just to name two. Tony has clips on YouTube. Jack does free tel-conferences on a monthly basis. 1000's attend each call. Tons of free material can be found on the internet. These inspirational leaders will help get you pumped and they will keep you pumped. Most important. They will help keep you on track.

Having a positive attitude is one thing. Staying positive when things are going against you is another beast altogether. Understanding that setbacks are a part of life and that setbacks are only temporary is key. Setbacks are life's way of measuring your commitment to success. A positive attitude will get you up and running faster. It's the fuel of your success.

Find Your Inspiration From Successful People

Last Fall I attended a banquet put on by the Better Business Bureau. Every person I spoke with while networking before the dinner portion was in my opinion successful. The people I got to sit with were nothing short of amazing. The energy in the room was electric. The BBB was honoring companies that displayed high ethics in business. Now this is a crowd that I like to hang out with. I immediately think of trust and credibility when it comes to ethics. It should be a way of life inside your businesses as well as how you interact with our external customers.
As the discussion around our table started to loosen up I became more amazed of the talent I was hanging out with. Those at the table included.

• A Real Estate magnet who does 8 figure property deals internationally. He is also a published author of his business biography.


• There was a President of a large moving company that has offices right across Canada. He is also a Board Member of the Better Business Bureau. Remember the night was about ethics in business.


• An Executive Vice President who left a career as a successful Doctor of Optometry to get into business. Now that's following your passion.


• Also seated at the table was the President of a sales training company but with a unique twist. His company works with business owners who are not sales people. He works with them on how to understand sales people and how to best engage their sales staff.


• Also at the table was a President of a large printing company who is finding success in a very competitive business.


• Seated as well with us, a Lawyer who left a large law firm to go with a three person firm. He wanted to get more engaged with his clients. That takes guts in my books.


• The host of the table is a Regional Manager for a very unique insurance company, that is not an insurance company. How is this for unique! Their customer companies self insure. That's right. Self insure. The customer company selects the benefits and the maximum that can be paid out in each benefit of the plan. His company just manages the details and the claims from the medical card they provide. Their fee is disclosed.


• Oh Yes there was me. The former President of an Office Products Company and Former President of a Computer Forms Company. I am currently a partner in a Scottish apparel company aside from my role at Answer365.

I can tell you the conversation around the table was not about who won the World Series. The purpose of this article is not to say I am good at name dropping and hobnobbing. To the contrary. What I have written about is that I made the effort to go out to this event and hear all about the successful nominees for the BBB Ethics Awards. I wanted to see and feel first hand what ethical businesses do. I left the event feeling invigorated and motivated. Success will not find it's way to you. It is by your actions and your determination that you will find success. I came away with so much more that I went in with. So get out there. Meet some people who will inspire you. You will be thankful you did.

Positive Attitude Leads To Clear Thinking And Visible Results

Clearing ones mind of all the clutter is a task onto itself. It seems that we are faced with decisions in everything we do. When we are unhappy or stressed the decisions become even tougher as we fear we will make the wrong decision. I believe that we must shake off the fear of making the wrong decision. Most of the decisions we make in our daily lives are not life altering. In fact we spend much of our lives worrying about things that will never happen. I ask, how unproductive is that? Imagine what would happen to our lives if we shifted from all those thoughts of failure and self-doubt to thoughts of success and happiness. So lets break this down into three steps.

Obtain a Positive Attitude.

The world of limiting beliefs can be said in one word. Defeat. Obtaining a positive attitude will involve your being conscious of your thoughts. Concentrate on things that bring you happiness. You have to convince yourself that you have what it takes. Think about the joy of achieving your goal or project that you are working on. Start to use the language of success. Words like, achieve,accomplish,win and move forward to name a few. Your self-confidence will become more prevalent with a positive attitude. Take a hard look at what you are good at. I expect there is little self-doubt there. Now, take a look at what you are not so go at and transfer that self-confidence into that space.

Concentrate on Clear Thinking

You will need to push back negative thoughts when they appear. These negative thoughts will put your mind in a place of worrying about the worst outcome. Generally in life, what we thing about, comes about. If we are going to have a self-fulfilling prophecy it best be about success. You must look at everything you do as having a good outcome. Otherwise it's not worth doing. I will use this analogy to simplify the point. Lets say you are single and looking for a mate. Do you make a list of all the things you do not want in a person or a list of all the good this you want in a person? Exactly. You focus and look for the good qualities. I also suggest you take a tip from NLP and look to the upper left when you are thinking. This is where you should look when you are thinking about the future. This is the part of your brain that is stimulated when you are in the thinking process. Looking down and to the right produces negative thoughts. Don't believe me? Try and smile while looking down and to the right. Closer to a frown isn't it? Up and to the left will get you in the positive attitude zone.

Picture Visible Results

So now is the time to look at yourself having achieved your goal or intention. Picture the smile on your face with the sense of accomplishment. I bet your smiling now just reading this. I am smiling just writing it. It's infectious. I find what works for me is that I write down how I will feel once I have achieved the desired result. If you can get to this frame of mind you are already halfway there.

This is not all bunk. Yes there are some people who have this natural ability as they seem to always get it right. Most of us have to work at being positive. Yes, I used the term "us". The only way we can achieve this positive frame of mind is being conscious of our thoughts. If we are conscious of our thoughts we can control what we think. Once we have achieved the ability to fill our minds with positive images the results will be amazing.

Do You Like To Win Or Do You Hate To Lose?

Everyone likes to win. That is a given. The reality is not all of you will win because you have not prepared yourselves to create the opportunity to win. When you hate to lose it brings up the level of commitment because the outcome of loosing is not acceptable to you. This leads to the question. Can you be successful without being competitive?

I was once asked this win or lose question in a job interview about ten years ago. The interviewer who was the owner of a fast paced growing company only wanted those people who had the burning desire to win. I knew in my mind the correct answer was "I hate to lose". It was for this instance the correct answer. It was not until after the interview and I was working with the company that I came to fully understand to true meaning of the question.

Winning is comfortable. It is good for our ego. Everyone wants to deal with a winner. It speaks volumes to your ability. We all know that to win we have to train and prepare ourselves for the match be it in business or on the sports field. In sports, it's a blend of physical and mental preparedness. In business it's about mental preparedness, the right product or service and the personality to win the deal. In many cases with business, losing is not an option. Your lively hood depends on it. I believe in the business environment one must adopt to the hate to lose side of the question. Losing is not an option.

I believe that many top athletes do well in business and especially in sales because they have the competitive attitude. Both my sons attended a boarding school and it was compulsory they play a competitive sport. The school knew it was important to have its students being very good on and off the field. The schools attitude reinforced what I personally knew to be true. Participants will win the day over spectators every time.

So how can you achieve that competitive edge? How can you obtain that burning desire to get to the top? I believe the following tips will get you started.

• Create and write down a goal related to you being the best in your field. Remember to make sure that your goal is matched with an action plan of steps to obtain that goal.
• Spend some time with a competitive winner. Ask some questions. Learn what it is that drives them.
• Write down how you would feel if you were the top in your field. This should put a smile on your face and have you pointed in that direction.
• Do some research on being competitive. Remember that being competitive is not always about beating someone else. It can just easily be about performing better than you every have before.

Everyone has the desire to win. Those with the burning desire to win are those who hate to lose. Success as we know comes in many forms. In the business world it's about relationships and the numbers. In the personal world it's about meeting milestones and personal achievements. To win we need passion and persistence. When you have those two elements, losing is not an option.

Ways to Get Your Life Back on Track Using Positive Thinking

Getting back on track after a setback can be an emotional roller coaster. One can seem to be surrounded by negative feelings that just won't let go. It's not as easy as turning a light switch on and off. We struggle to suppress these past events that cause us to over analyze what went wrong. Knowing what went wrong is important but focusing on it just delays our ability to get back to a positive frame of mind. Staying positive consumes allot of energy. Keeping our mind fueled with positive thoughts is a good thing. So how do we move on and regain a positive frame of mind.

I can tell you from personal experience it's hard work. Being an ADHD has made it even tougher on me as ADHD's become so emotionally involved in what they do. It's tough for us to say. "It's just business" or "that's just the way it is". For those of us who have this disorder we often look for new and exciting things to pull us away and bring us pleasure. This technique is often used at the expense of not seeing through what we were previously engaged in. It's a double edge sword. I am certain you too have had events in your life that just seem to grab hold and not let go. Here are some ideas that have helped me to move on to new and happier times.

• Planning is the first step and this will help put your mind into the future. It may start as a thought or dream but that's OK. Dreams can and often do become reality. Oh yes. Remember to write it down.
• Put behind you what is holding you back. If it has effected other people, call them and explain how you feel. Say your sorry. Let them know you are anxious to move on. Thank them for their understanding. For heavens sake don't make the same mistake again.
• Find a friend or a coach who you can talk this through with. Accept the help of others. Going it alone is what we call in Canada, "Skating On Thin Ice".
• Read something up lifting. As goofy as it sounds it really does work.
• Play some music that makes you feel good. Good mood and positive attitude are room mates.
• Get some exercise. Exercise actually gives you more energy. It will also help clear the mind.
• Schedule some time in your diary for you. This will enable you to work on your plan. One of the worst things that can happen as you begin to feel better and as the stress lessens, you stop moving forward with your new plan.

Positive thinking is often associated with optimism. I feel they are closely related. Optimism is fantastic if we connect it with sound reasoning. Staying positive needs some reinforcement cementing that we are heading in the right direction. An accountability partner or coach will keep you on track. I believe the above tips will help bring some clarity and purpose to your pursuit of success. Do it for yourself. Your worth it.

Overcoming Defeat - The Best Revenge Is Success

Overcoming defeat is one of the toughest things we will ever have to do in life. I have been whipped out financially twice in my life and I believe there is only one option. Get up. Dust yourself off and get on with it. But it's not easy. The only revenge you should be looking for is to prove to yourself and the world that you have what it takes to be successful.

We have to deal with the embarrassment of the loss. We have to deal with the feelings of limiting beliefs that creep back into our lives. There are often financial implications that impact others. These affected people are usually family members. Times like these are when our self-esteem is at the lowest.

We can not sit back and blame others for our problem. Nothing can be gained by this. We created it and we need to take some ownership for our actions. Yes, we all have runs of back luck but we also put ourselves in the position to be at risk. Often we hear of the risk reward scenario. The bigger the risk, the bigger reward. The financially successful people in life are good at managing risk. They work hard at getting to a point where they only risk what they can afford to loose. We all know it does not start out that way.

So how can we get on with life and re-establish ourselves. How can we find a way we can move forward? The following tips worked for me are what I believe to be a good place to start.

• Take ownership for what has happened. This will help bring closure and you will be able to focus on a new opportunity.
• Take the time to understand why you failed to insure you do not make the same mistakes.
• You will obviously need the help of others at a time of loss. Often these people will appear out of nowhere and offer to help. Accept this help. The fastest way out of the hole is with the help of others. I strongly suggest you do not look at this as charity. These people have come to help because they care about you. They feel and understand your grief.
• Find a mentor and or a coach. They will help bring clarity. It's very possible they have gone through what you are going through too. They will help you see there is a life after a defeat in business or you have lost a job.
• Have a long meaningful conversation with your spouse or partner. Make sure you listen. It's not always about you. They to are feeling your pain. They to have a stake in your future success.

I can tell you from experience that we are tougher than you think. I have been called a survivor many times. It's not a term that I find enduring. However, we must look at it as a complement to our personal metal. We have what it takes. There will always be obstacles in life. Having the ability to deal with them and move on is a key component in success. The other trait is persistence. Never give up. The best revenge after defeat is in fact, your future success.

3 Tips for Getting Over Bad Habits Hindering Your Success

The most widely read of my articles are those articles dealing with setbacks and roadblocks to your success. The truth of the matter is we all are faced with attempting to change how we currently do things. We strive to improve our present situation in life. It does not matter if it's personal or business. Deep down we want to improve our selves. The difficulty with shaking those unwanted habits has to do with our conditioned preferences. I believe habits are formed as a route of least resistance to do what needs to get done. With out even thinking about it!

For those of you who are or have been smokers know the habit thing only to well. I too was an on again, off again smoker for over 20 years. I tried the patch. I tried to not drink coffee or have alcohol which were the association triggers in an effort to quit. What it came down to was my wife saying she loved me and she did not want me to do this to myself. The same can be said for weight gain. We eat foods that we know are harmful towards our health but we continue to do so. I my view smoking and eating are classic examples of habits we all want to break. I also believe they do not really impact our future success as a business person but they do have an impact on how we view ourselves. Habits like procrastination, the fear of failure and laziness are the real stingers that hold us back from achieving personal and or financial success.

Lets assume you know you need to make some changes. The most important thing you need to do before you even start with the three necessary steps is to remove any doubt that you will not succeed. You must to get past the limiting beliefs that you do not have the ability to do this. Will power and determination are crucial to succeeding in changing your unwanted habits. This is a given.

Tip One, Write it Down.

Get out your pen and write down the habit you want to shake. Before you say what the heck Paul. Yes. writing it down validates the issue. When you write it down, it requires thought. After you have acknowledged the habit you want to break you now have to write down how it will feel once you have achieved making the change. This is the feeling and the vision that will propel you.

Tip Two, Change Your Routine

I believe that most of our habits appear during your daily routines. They just happen without our even thinking about it. So a good way to make a change is to change our routine. Make sure that you leave out the unwanted habit in the new daily routine. Vacations are also a great way to make a change. Once you have a change in your environment the association factors do not come into play. This works. They say it takes 30 days to change a habit. The first 7 days are the toughest. Start making the change on a vacation. It works.

Tip Three, Find an Accountability Partner

Back in April I wrote an article, Six Reasons You Will Achieve Success Faster With An Accountability Partner. I believe this is the second most important step in finding success. Second only to commitment and determination. When we have an accountability partner we have to report what we did this week toward achieving our goal. In this case the goal is to shake or change a habit. Telling our accountability partner we did not get it done can be difficult. That's why it works. Simple as that.

You are not alone in wanting to make changes and improve your life. In fact it's very natural. Identifying the habit and why you want to make the change is the key. The support structures you put in place are equally important as we are all human and we often seek the road of least resistance. Success is found on the road less traveled. The road of new experiences that will take you to new heights. Go for it. You can do it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6452379

Six Ways To Maintain A Positive Attitude When Your Emotions Are Low

Do you ever wonder how some people always seem to be happy? You ask yourself, how do they do it? What is it they have that I don't? I believe that some people are naturally happy people. This may come as a result of the environment they grew up in. I also believe that even in the best of families there are challenges for emotional support allowing us to be who we who we want to be. We all suffer mood swings. Moods that appear as a result of recent events both happy and sad. The moods we remember most are those that pull us down. We have a tendency to slip back into limiting beliefs about ourselves at times like this. We need to be cognitive about these negative emotions. Our friends and business associates sense and feel these negative feelings and they will have a tendency to pull back. You then are drawn even deeper into these negative emotions as a result. It can be a vicious circle.

How many times in your life have you heard a friend or business associate say, "I am on a roll right now" I expect you have said that numerous times yourself. Pretty accelerating feelings aren't they? So how can we stay pumped so we can lead a happy and productive life?

1. Start a gratitude journal. I personally have one. Start your day by writing down all the things you are thankful for in your life. This will help push back the negative feelings that can creep into your day.
2. Start your day with some quiet time. Get up a half hour before the rest of the family. This can be your time to read and plan your day without the distraction of others. We all need time to our selves. It's a time that we can be proactive in our thoughts and not reactive. It's about maintaining control of our thoughts and emotions.
3. Take the time to get some exercise. I walk about 20 miles a week. I actually log my walks in my daily journal. I do not take my Ipod. It's a time reflect without distraction. It a great way to walk off frustrations. It's also a great way to keep your blood pressure down.
4. The morning news on the Radio or TV is always full of negative information. I personally get my news from the internet or a news paper. I choose the news I want to read. With Radio and TV the news it what they want to tell you. Think about it. They are not broadcasting feel good stuff. Why start you day that way?
5. Tell your family and friends that you love them. Go one step further. Tell them why you love them. When is the last time a loved one barked at you after you told them you love them?
6. Work toward obtaining an abundance mindset. These two books will help you get to this space. Go and purchase the book. "Chicken Soup for the Soul" by Jack Canfield. I suggest you also purchase and read, Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Dr. Richard Carlson. You will feel blessed for all you have. Better still you will come to understand, abundance has a never ending supply.

We all have abundance and so many wonderful things in our lives. It's human nature that we tend to focus on what is not going our way. We struggle to fix what's wrong in our lives. Build on obtaining more of what is good in our lives adverse to trying to fix what we perceive is a problem. One of my favorite sayings is by Mark Twain. "I spent much of my life worrying about things that never happened" There is more abundance on this planet than we could ever imagine. Use to your advantage an abundance mindset. Embrace these feelings to keep you in a positive frame of mind. Most of important of all. Remember to smile. It's contagious.

How to Increase Will Power - Learn to Say No and Mean It

I feel that learning to say NO is a test to our will power and commitment to success. There is always someone or something that wants our time to help them achieve their goals and objectives. It can feel good to say yes at the time but when we are faced with not meeting our goals and objectives we ask ourselves. What did I just do?

Over the past six weeks I feel into the trap of not being able to say no. To my readers you will have noticed I have not published an article in over a month. It is due to a couple of things. I took a weeks vacation sailing with family and friends but I also over committed to some volunteer work. The unfortunate part about all this is I knew it each and every time. I felt the burning desire to help someone else who was in need. I broke my own rule of saying yes before I thought it through. When we over commit, it impacts many things both personal and business. We hear the term "Life Balance" It's not a myth. I understand life balance to be a good split between ones personal life and ones business life. When we over commit the time has to come from somewhere. Saying yes without clearly understanding the impact is dangerous. When busy people like myself do this we end up doing less than 100 percent of what is required to meet our own goals and commitments. It's that simple.

We also have to be careful of what I call time wasters. We get busy doing "Stuff" further down the list of "have to do". I feel this is really disguised as procrastination. We have friends and colleagues who drop into our lives venting about things that are not going well in their lives. Friends and family looking for some help or assistance in one of their projects. Saying no to friends and family is the toughest of all. I personally find the best way to say No, is to say. "I would love to help you. I am in the middle of a project with a close deadline right now that needs my full attention. I could give you a hand later in the week or for an hour on Saturday morning." Look at it this way. Your friend needs help right now. You do not have time right now. If they value your friendship they can wait until you see yourself clear to give them a hand.

Saying "No" takes will power. Saying "No" and meaning it, is a learned experience. Saying "No" and clearly explaining why builds your credibility. Saying "No" with compassion and understanding is an art. When we do say "Yes",we know it is for good reason and it has meaningful results for all.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6445450

Success in Life Starts With Knowing What You Want

Success is so many different things to many of us. It may be material things, money or a relationship that brings us love. The perseverance toward obtaining these things is what separates the dreamers from the realists. Success is commonly found in those who make their dreams reality. But how do you find out what it is you want?
We often hear people use the word vision. Simply put it means that you can clearly see where you are going. Exceptional people are often referred to as visionary. But what does that really mean? I believe visionary people are able to bring new yet unseen pictures and ideas to reality. Less visionary people can do this to, but at a level we already know exists. We often hear of people using vision boards with pictures of their favorite car, their dream house or favorite vacation spot on the vision board. You can use these pictures as subtle reminders that help us stay on track. Many of these pictures have come from our dreams and goals. They can be transferred loves of things from our parents. We should also make sure they are what make us happy too. I caution that chasing other peoples dreams can lead to heartbreak.
The most important part is to understand that we gravitate to what makes us happy. You must and you have to put yourself first. That does not mean you have to give up your love of others and become singular. I suggest you look at it this way. Don't you want your wife or children to be happy? Of course you do. I suggest to you they want the same for you.
The following six tips will get you started in obtaining a clear picture of what it is you want and where you want to be.

1. Write down all the things that make you happy.
2. Make sure it is what makes you happy and not what someone else wants for you.(ownership)
3. Take it the next step and write down why they these things make you happy. (validation)
4. List these make me happy priorities in the order of importance.
5. Write down your action plan that you are going to use toward achieving these things that make you happy.
6. Share these affirmations with your mentor or accountability partner.

Your Success is just outside your comfort zone.
Staying on track is not always easy. Your success rate jumps when you have to report to someone what you have done this week toward achieving our goal. As simple and goofy as it may feel, I truly believe you will not find success if you do not write down what it is you want. If you can not get to that level of commitment right out of the starting gate you will continue to struggle in finding success.
Not all of us have a "Eureka" moment that defines what it is we want in life. What matters changes as we grow older. The need to impress others also diminishes as we grow older. We gravitate toward what makes us happy. Knowing these things earlier in life helps us find success sooner.

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Success Tips To Help You Get Past Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are one of the biggest stumbling blocks on the road to success. How can we ever achieve something when we believe down inside we can not achieve it? I believe these limiting beliefs are caused by previous failures or conditioned beliefs that we obtained from our parents. What ever happened to those days when we were children exploring every nook and cranny of the house. We have heard the word No, for years and years. No, don't do that. No, don't open that. Don't eat that. No is not a nurturing word. No is black and white. What do you suppose happens when a nurturing parent finds alternatives to No and adds to the scene a new stimulus? We obtain a possibilities mind set. Oh, what's this? Limiting beliefs eventually lead us toward procrastination. The number one enemy to achieving success. So how do we get past these limiting beliefs that hold us back from obtaining success.

1. With out question being conscious of our thoughts is the first step. When we say in our minds I can't do that. We have to ask ourselves. Why do I feel this way? There has to be some pain involved in this thought. What is the pain. What is the emotion that makes you say no. Don't. You will fail. Bring the opposite to mind. Yes I can do that.
2. We need to expand our comfort zone. This can be accomplished by trying to do new things you would otherwise never do. Take the attitude of, you know what? I am going to do this today. Break some new ground.
3. Read books about limiting beliefs and how to get past them. There are many great books that talk about this in detail. Jack Canfield's " The Success Principals". Dr. Susan Jeffers " Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway". Eddie Lemoine's " Bring About What You Think About" If you are conscious of it, you can change those thoughts of limiting belief to thoughts of success.
4. Find a mentor if you do not already have one. Many of the worlds successful people just didn't wake up one day successful. They worked at it like you are now. You would be amazed how easy it is to ask your mentor for a few minutes of their time so you can improve yourself. The mentor will feel great because you have valued their opinion enough to ask for some guidance. They also are likely impressed that you are actively trying to improve yourself.
5. Enroll is a course that will increase your skills in the area you want to succeed. Education is a powerful tool. It will give you the confidence knowing you have prepared yourself for success. Reinforcement that others have done this before you is all inspiring.
6. Get motivated. There is no better medicine that getting inspired. Look for motivational speakers who may be coming to your area and purchase the ticket right now. Remove any chance of changing your mind later. Many of these motivational speakers are also business and life coaches.

Most importantly, understanding we can obtain our dreams and goals if our mind is in the right place. Things that have happened to us in the past condition us to become risk averse. Often we do not realize that we may have done much of what is required to succeed. We were just missing one piece of the puzzle. Just think of that little train that could. " I think I can. I think I can. I know I can".

Stand On Your Toes and Look Over The Fence

I remember going through a rough patch in my life almost 10 years ago and I was in total despair over the situation I was in. I was recently divorced and had just lost a job. I was laboring along trying to figure out what I was going to do. I was very lonely and wondering what ever happened to this guy who could do anything he set his mind to. The can do man had lost his spark. One day a friend had come by the house to talk sailing and I was relaying to him my fears and all the obstacles that lay before me. He looked me straight in the eye and said"for Pete's sake would you just stand on your toes and look over the fence". That statement changed everything from that moment forward.

Stand on your toes and look over the fence. How more clear can a statement be? I did not have to climb over the fence or scale a wall. All I had to do was stand on my toes and peek over the top. The possibilities in your life don't always sit on the other side of the room in clear view. You have to stretch sometimes to find what you want in life. What an attitude changer that statement was. I was back in a positive state of mind. I was not ready to put on my super hero cape just yet, but I was on my way. Positive Attitude and Optimism live in the same sphere.

So what is holding you back? Lack of purpose, fear of the unknown or just plain old scared to death. How do you get yourself out of that rut? I have several things I have done over the years to help change my perspective. A couple of them require some quiet time with a pen and paper.

The first one is to start to write a list of all the things that are good in your life and all the things you are great full for. You may be wondering where to start. If you had a great meal last evening, write it down. Do you have a special friend you are a thankful to have. Write it down. Write until you can't think of anything else. I'll bet you have a long list. Just so you know, I keep a Gratitude Book in my left hand desk drawer and I write in it every day. If you wake in the morning mad not looking forward to the day. Take a minute. Pull out the book and start to write all the things you are great full for. Say good bye to the wrong side of the bed!!!

Secondly is that if you are considering making a change in your life or situation I suggest you take the time to write down the benefits and drawbacks. I firmly believe witting helps your visualization. Your asking what does this have to do with a positive attitude. Well consider this. Your consumed with a tough decision that has grabbed your thoughts and your likely full of fear. Take a piece of paper and write at the top what the decision your trying to make. Then draw a line down the middle of the page and write at the top of each side of the page. Pros and the left and Cons on the right. As you list away the decision before you should start to become clear. One tip I would suggest is to put it away after a while then return to it later in the day or the following day. At the end of the exercise you should have a basis from which to make a decision. If it's the same as your initial gut reaction your in really good shape. If it's not you should be pleased that you went through the exercise. Coming to the right decision will help regain your positive attitude.

What signal are you sending out. Do you suppose all the happy people out there want to come sit and chat with a grumpy person. I don't think so. As dumb as it sounds and yes as dumb as it feels I suggest you do these little things to help keep you in that positive state of mind. I expect you have allot to be thankful for. A Positive Attitude will attract good things to your life.

Achieve Success by Turning Daily "Have To" Things Into "Choose To" Things

There are many pieces to the puzzle in achieving success. All the great business leaders tell us in their books that there are several things you need to do each and every day to achieve success. Much of the Goal Setting advice we read about advices us to break down the goal into achievable stages. Does it not make sense to put these achievable stages as priority items. In the world I grew up in priority items went to the top of the list.

Would it not make sense if you are a list writer to put your have to items down in order of importance. While you were writing your goals did you list the things you want in life first or list in order the things you need to do to get what you want in life. I expect you can see where I am going with this, so why don't we tackle these things head on knowing it's important to achieving our goals and objectives.

I can say many of the years of my life as a business owner had a large sales component in my daily activity. There were days that the phone weighed a 100 pounds. Later today or tomorrow I would say. When I look back at those times they were usually accompanied by weak sales performance. The same can be said for business owners and managers who have customer accounts that are slipping past due. Putting the have to on the top of the list inspires us to pick up that heavy phone receiver and make the call. Both of these scenarios fit into the have to Category. So picture this if you will. Your tackling the "Have to" things every day find your goals and objectives beginning to take shape. You are starting to see the rewards. Can you see my point now that it will be easy to transition the "Have To" to the "Choose To" in your life. The pain associated with the have to slowly slips away.

As silly as this may seem I expect all of you have heard a friend tell you they had to go to a party tonight and another one on the weekend. Give me a break. No one has to go to a party. We choose to. Life is so much about the language we use. Have to sounds like something we have been ordered or told to do. We take ownership with choose to.

So there is a bonus to doing the hard stuff first. The rest of the day will be a breeze comes to mind. If you do it first then you may not have to face the dilemma of tackling it tomorrow. Putting the hard, have to stuff at the bottom of the list is just straight out procrastination. One of my favorite authors Jack Canfield with Mark Victor Hansen became famous for the "Chicken Soup For The Soul" series. Mr Canfield wrote about the 130 rejections while looking for a publisher. A yes finally came after some creative activities. The book went on to sell 8 million copies. Yes this story fits into the persistence category but I expect all those asks were on top of the choose to list. Can you imagine how easy it would have been for Jack to put those asks to the bottom of the list. The book of his I like the most is "The Success Principals". in Chapter 15 titled " "Feel the Fear and do It anyway" Fear lives in the have to. Happiness lives in the choose to. Have to things being attended to on a regular basis slip in to the choose to before you know it. These activities now become habit forming. In my opinion habits don't fall into the things we don't like to do. Consider this quote from the famous author Mark Twain. " I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened".

Call it what you will. Have To or Choose To. It has to get done. Your future success is dependent on doing these things. In my view it's more fun doing the "Choose to" things in our lives. Just ask away with gusto. A Yes awaits you.

Missed Goal Becomes An Amazing Adventure

Growing up in a sailing family, one dreams of the romance of sailing in far away places. Over the years I have been able to get to sail in places like the Caribbean, The Cost Of Maine, The Great Lakes, Newfoundland, and The Mediterranean Sea. Story book adventures that birthed from a handed down love of the sea by my father and love of travel from my mother. In fact it was the goal of my father to sail across the Atlantic Ocean that eventually became transferred to me. A trip my father is unlikely to complete now that he is 87 and his sailing is now limited to warm afternoons along the coast of Nova Scotia.

This whole adventure started when I was asked by a neighborhood friend to help race his 78 foot sloop across the Atlantic Ocean from the Canary Island of Tenerife to St Martin in the eastern Caribbean. The owner hand selected twelve sailors including three seasoned sailors like myself. He also included some younger talented sailors to help with man handling the sails as sails on a 78 footer weigh in at several hundred pounds each. To round out the crew he added a couple of professional sailors who have made several trips across the Atlantic. When upon the high seas a sound vessel well equipped with the best in safety equipment is only part of the requirement. No Yacht should set out on such and adventure without a talented and experienced crew.

The yacht had spent the past two years sailing in the Mediterranean and it was time to take her west again. To make this a true Atlantic Crossing I sized the opportunity to get aboard the yacht in Gibraltar for the delivery to Tenerife. This passage in itself is a wonderful sail of 780 nautical miles through the straights of Gibraltar and along the coast of Morocco to what I call an island paradise.

The yacht race to St Martin is 2800 miles of blue water sailing. There is no jumping off point in the mid Atlantic Ocean. Once the lines are let go there is no going back. Well, until this trip. On the night of the third day at sea an expected small low pressure system packing 35 to 40 knots of wind was to move through the zone we were sailing in. The skipper made the decision to head south to miss the brunt of this blow and be back on our way west the following afternoon. The storm grew as it moved into the warms waters of the mid Atlantic and blow it did for two and a half days. 35 to 40 knot winds and rain that at times was coming sideways. All this wind resulted in very high seas that brought on the challenge of trying to keep the boat from pounding into the very steep seas. The wind was also blowing from the direction we were headed.

Not a good position to be in when there is 1800 miles to our destination. Our on board weather man informed us the storm was officially behind us but two more days of light headwinds followed by two to three days of doldrums were before us. This weather report had created challenges that put continuing on to St Martin at risk. The storm had forced us to consume allot of diesel. We needed to run the generator to operate the winches and water makers. What was to be a nine to twelve day trip was now looking to be sixteen or even seventeen days and food would also be in short supply. What we needed were the South East Trade Winds to kick in. The South East Trades are but most accounts a friendly warm breeze from astern looked and it looked to be a week or so away. The owner after much deliberation and discussion with the crew felt in the interest of safety to head east to the Islands of Cape Verde some 750 miles to the east. A four to five day sail with the wind astern expected for the first three days.

To make this passage more enjoyable and interesting the owner switched up the watch crews so there would be, Fresh Conversation. It was a delightful sail with the weather as predicted. Tropical warm breeze, fishing, sleeping, reading,sharing stories of past voyages and yes even good political debate. Daybreak the morning of the sixth day we were in the Channel between Santa Antao and St Vicente. Our adventure was soon to go dockside. We tied up at the marina in Mindello. Twelve days at sea leaves for much work to be done putting the yacht back to cruising status. This a days work for twelve crew and in 95 degree weather. But all was worth it as a few cold beers followed by a night on the town awaited us.

The next day the owner had arranged for us to take a tour of the island of St Vicente which was climaxed buy a trip to the top of the mountain along a single lane road cut into the side mountain. Breath taking would be an understatement. The Islands of this young African nation became independent from Portugal in 1975. It's future looks to be in tourism as the wonderful beaches and friendly people make it's place as an African Nation that's free from famine and dictatorship. So a missed bucket list item became an adventure not ever forgotten and one more continent off my bucket list. Just Asia and Australia remain. You ask if I will eventually make a completed passage across the Atlantic Ocean? Well, it's still on the bucket list.

Bucket List Dreams are Goals Too

Have you always wanted to jump out of a plane? Have you dreamed of taking a take a trip to another part of the world or pamper yourself and stay in a five star hotel?  I strongly suggest you write them down as goals. The very fact you have written them down puts your mind to thought.  Once the vision of these life long dreams is implanted in your mind, your unconscious mind then goes to work keeping the picture there.

It is suggested by the experts, that our goals be realistic and obtainable and these goals also make us stretch.  We have to work toward our goals and their success will generate a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Through the process of writing our goals it is commonly suggested that you break them down to two main groups.  These include personal goals relating to health and relationships as well as financial goals pertaining to your life style both tangible and intangible. I personally think it’s advisable to add a third category, “Things I want to do before I die”.

So what might fit a Bucket List Goal?  For starters it’s our childhood dreams.  The when I grow up stuff.  Things you might do if your ship comes in.  We all remember the fantastic movie The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.  Did it not make you feel good as they crossed the dreams off the list?  I know I have tears in my eyes every time I watch the movie.  I truly believe it’s our God given right to leave this planet with not regrets and a huge smile on our face. Imagine the accelerating feeling knowing you squeezed all you could out of your life. Wow.

If you’re not a goal writer I would suggest just one goal for you. Make the choice to be a participant in life and remove being a spectator from your mind.   Once the decision is clear you want to be a participant, your dreams and aspirations will take root.  Enjoy the journey of growing and being the best you can be.