Stop Losing The Arguments You Have With Yourself

We all have it. That voice. The one that starts yakking at us the minute we consider leaving our comfort zone. How many times have you heard success is just outside your comfort zone. You know it, but it's like sticking your big toe into cold water. I'm not going in there. It's freezing. You know it's good for you yet you will not venture in.
It's the fear of failure for certain. It's also the fear of limiting beliefs. You know these things are true yet you never leave the barn to stretch your legs. I believe you have to gain that positive attitude to get past the limiting beliefs and embrace the fact you might not get it right the first time.
To get past these fears you have to understand the whole world is not watching you. In fact very few if any people are watching you. Yes, get over it. So you have a couple of choices if your going to step up and make lasting change.

1. Chart your new course without saying a word. It's just you steaming along. One sure fired way to succeed is to start living and talking like you are already there. I expect you will be saying to yourself. This feels good!


2. The other method is to tell others what you are going to do. This part has more risk as you now will have to live up to your commitment. In a sense these people become your accountability partners.

I believe the most successful of the two is the second method as you really do have people watching you. Why not put the power of both to work for you. You start to live as if you have already achieved your goal and then add the accountability piece of the second option.
Successful people know that you will fail more than you succeed. That's what makes success even sweeter. I love this quote by Truman Capote. "Failure is the condiment that gives success it's flavour."
It's impossible to be a success without a positive attitude. There are several ways to help you gain this attitude.

1. Find a mentor. Someone you can emulate.


2. Hang out with positive mended people. Loose the doubter friends.


3. Tame the negative chatter in the back of your mind. Have the courage to change the topic.

Greatness is in all of us. Are you worth it? If the answer is no get professional help. If it's yes. Accepting that it's within you is step one. Wrapping your mind around the benefits of embracing change is step two. Living your dream is limitless. Success starts with a positive attitude.

Celebrating People Who Inspire Me

I have come to notice today both the strength and the fear in humility. It became obvious to me when I sent out six individual invitations to a small gathering I am holding next month for these people who inspire me.
The purpose is not self fulfilling but to let others know what they do and how they do it really matters. It is the success in their humility that makes them great in my eyes. They truly inspire me. In my eyes, they are worthy of praise.
What has transpired is what I expected to be a prompt yes became silence from three of the invitees. Upon reflection it is truly a reflection of their humility that they are possibly uncomfortable with being in the limelight even as small and intimate a gathering as it will be. I expect they were thinking why me. Whats Paul thinking?
It's a world filled with things we measure both at work and in our personal lives. I believe it is the things we don't measure that make people unique. My late father-in law used to say "Paul your are never a good shit until your dead. " "People will say the nicest things about you when your gone." Come to think of it, I believe he was right.
So why wait to say the nice things about deserving people until they are gone. The business world is quick to sing the praises of the captains of industry and commerce. We all know it takes talent and leadership to be a success in business. But, does it speak to who they are as a person? Some times in life it's not about the measurable things such as money. It's the soft side. The human side. The world has many people who are kind and caring. The people who inspire me are those who overcame personal challenges or who took risks to improve their lives and the lives of others including their families.
I await with excitement having these six amazing people who inspire me in the same room. Will it make me feel good? Of course it will. The real joy will be having the six people sharing their personal triumphs with each other without feeling boastful. Perhaps my little exercise will become contagious in that we will not have to wait until we are gone to have people say nice things about us. It's more than letting people know were thinking of them. It's about what we think of them.

Celebrating People Who Inspire Me

I have come to notice today both the strength and the fear in humility. It became obvious to me when I sent out six individual invitations to a small gathering I am holding next month for these people who inspire me.
The purpose is not self fulfilling but to let others know what they do and how they do it really matters. It is the success in their humility that makes them great in my eyes. They truly inspire me. In my eyes, they are worthy of praise.
What has transpired is what I expected to be a prompt yes became silence from three of the invitees. Upon reflection it is truly a reflection of their humility that they are possibly uncomfortable with being in the limelight even as small and intimate a gathering as it will be. I expect they were thinking why me. Whats Paul thinking?
It's a world filled with things we measure both at work and in our personal lives. I believe it is the things we don't measure that make people unique. My late father-in law used to say "Paul your are never a good shit until your dead. " "People will say the nicest things about you when your gone." Come to think of it, I believe he was right.
So why wait to say the nice things about deserving people until they are gone. The business world is quick to sing the praises of the captains of industry and commerce. We all know it takes talent and leadership to be a success in business. But, does it speak to who they are as a person? Some times in life it's not about the measurable things such as money. It's the soft side. The human side. The world has many people who are kind and caring. The people who inspire me are those who overcame personal challenges or who took risks to improve their lives and the lives of others including their families.
I await with excitement having these six amazing people who inspire me in the same room. Will it make me feel good? Of course it will. The real joy will be having the six people sharing their personal triumphs with each other without feeling boastful. Perhaps my little exercise will become contagious in that we will not have to wait until we are gone to have people say nice things about us. It's more than letting people know were thinking of them. It's about what we think of them.

Are You Dialed In

We have all heard the sayings, " In the Zone ", On top of it", "Plugged In" and "I'm focused" but how long have you been able to hold on to those thoughts. This is something I have struggled with most of my life being an ADD. The high energy and emotions of ADD leave most ADD's in their late teens but some of the traits or symptoms of ADD get to hang around for most of our lives. Being easily bored is also a trait that's tough to shake. ADD's need to be stimulated. My ADD hang over became perfectly clear last fall while I was attending an organizations leadership weekend. A friend reached over and whispered in my ear " Your a sprinter aren't you?" He asked me this following my stating I was unable to fulfill a commitment and I had to step down as chair of a committee. That statement "Your a sprinter aren't you" has been rattling around in my mind ever since.
We can all be dialed in but how long can you stay in the zone? Truly successful people manage to stay on target and do not lose sight of their target. This I believe is a true measure of their commitment to a project or goal. My thought is many of us set ourselves up to fail because the objective or the time frame is too short. We simply lose interest or burn ourselves out before we get the job completed. I think every one suffers from this and not just ADD's.
Here is what I have learned works for me and I expect these reminders can work for you as well.

1. Just slow down.
2. Determine how bad you want it and in some cases what do others expect from you?
3. Is the time frame realistic? Can you accomplish what needs to be accomplished in the alloted time?
4. Where does the goal fit into you list of priorities? In other words will you have to give something else up to achieve this.
5. Is this a "have to" or "a want to" objective or goal?
6. Do you have an emotional attachment. Is this a burning desire. Emotional attachment helps but can it can cloud your judgement.
7. If the commitment or goal involves others be sure to share concerns with the others involved. Deadlines can be a mixed blessing.
8. Don't say yes to a commitment before you think it through?

My friend who suggested I was a sprinter was correct. My high energy and commitment was connected to a worthy cause. I wanted it. It felt right. I said yes for all the right reasons. The conflict was all the other things going on in my life that were important too. In short being dialed in is a pretty big space. The goal and the dream needs to be very clear. Disappointing ourselves is one thing. Disappointing others can be disastrous. The zone is a space that exists between the start and the finish line. Only you can determine the speed at which you travel that distance.

Dealing With Adversity

Adversity simply put is a road block or detour. It can also be seen as a way to test that you are on the right track. Adversity also has a way of sapping your energy and often leads to your giving up. Why does life seem such a struggle? Isn't life meant to be easier than this?
I believe that wisdom comes from two areas. Having witnessed the experience and having lived the experience. I expect there are those who feel that wisdom is gained from reading and study. I can accept that to some extent however the emotional part does not exist in reading or study. Whats the adversity in that? Their in lies the benefit. The experiences that knock the starch out of you, we remember the most. These events often leave you feeling you have failed or you are faced with making the wrong decision. I believe it's the lessons that come from adversity that make you mentally stronger leading you to your eventual success.
I expect it's said the best way to avoid adversity is to just keep cruising and never stretch ourselves. What's the point of that? Sounds like a recipe for a life without purpose or meaning. It's a proven fact that people who live life with a purpose and stretch themselves live a longer and happier life.
There is a good reason you should push yourselves to be better than you were last year, last week or yesterday. It's for your health and your self-esteem. It's about making the world a better place because of our actions. Meaningful change in yourself impacts others such as your families and co-workers.
These reasons are why you should set out knowing there will be resistance to your plans and actions. The resistance often comes from those who fear change. It's uncomfortable for them. Why should you allow them to set the agenda. It's your life. I recommend you share your dreams and aspirations with your loved ones and business associates. If they do not know why you are doing what you do they will question your motives. The sharing of your intentions is a way of removing some of the resistance before you set out to make changes.
Adversity is your close and honest friend. That's what good friends do. Strong friendships are not the easy ones. They are strong because of a bond knowing that you will be there for each other when things get tough. Your embracing adversity says that your ready to take yourself to the next level. Success is found in those who started out knowing there will be setbacks and adversity. Successful people also know adversity and resistance makes them stronger. Join the success team and fly past those afraid to take the road less traveled.