Do You Like The Person You See In The Mirror?

It's January and I expect you're reflecting on the coming year. You are probably thinking about things you want to change in your life. The old saying "there is always room for improvement" is right. We all know there is no silver bullet in success. There are many factors that will improve your chances of success like hard work, determination, persistence, who you know and the most importantly pushing past your comfort zone.
I am three-quarters through the book "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Dr. Norman Doidge. The stories in the book of the people who over came tremendous odds to their mental challenges is extremely inspiring. The one common theme in the book is the brain can rewire itself if given the task. The old use it or lose it is a requirement for a healthy brain. This does not mean use it the same every day but quite the opposite. Dr. Doidge tells us we are victims of our habits. Our daily routines have our brains using the same brain passage ways to accomplish our daily requirements. This creates a lazy brain. I expect the comfort zone travels this route many times in the run of a day!
I expect you're asking what does all this brain stuff have to do with telling the truth to the person in the mirror? I see this as a critical step. Your brain will believe what you tell it. I feel it's easy to look in the mirror and say your a victim. I am who I am due to external circumstances. This belief is disguised as an excuse you believe as fact. It's like leaving the bill that came in the mail unopened. Even though you know it's not good news you believe if you ignore it that it will go away. What I don't know won't hurt me so to say.
If I have not hit a nerve with you yet then you need to spend some extra mirror time. Take a long look yourself and ask yourself the question. Am I being honest with myself?
Things do not change for the better by wishing it to be so. Your allowing external forces to guide your direction in life will only lead to discontent. Your life will change because you made a conscious decision to improve yourself. Deep down inside you know you must do this. Don't wait until tomorrow to have that look in the mirror. The first step is believing your worth it. Your family and your career deserve the best that you can possibly be.

Grow Through Change

It's December and you are likely taking stock of what lies ahead from the coming year. You are reflecting on things you want and things about yourself you want to change. To effectively achieve results you will need to embrace change. Growing through change has many positive effects on our lives. It is often the challenge many face as success is just outside our comfort zones. You may ask how does this relate to setting goals and making resolutions for the coming year?
We all know that we can't achieve success by doing things the same way we have for years. We also know that changing our habits and tendencies are extremely difficult yet we all dream of changing ourselves for the better. New Years resolutions are often related to stopping our habits we don't like in our lives. Things like weight, less drinking and smoking come to mind. There in lies the challenge. Stop is a negative. It's my belief we find success in seeking the positive. Focus on the benefit is my motto. Start to live like you are already there.
I ask why do you want to lose weight? You should believe you will be more attractive and healthier. Does it not make sense to seek being more attractive and healthier adverse to losing weight? Exactly. I have always liked the quote. "Success lies just outside your comfort zone". From what I have researched many lay claim or use this quote as their own. Irregardless of the quote, lets look at is this way.
Emotions and realities that reside in your comfort zone include.

• Where most of humanity resides.
• Depression.
• Mediocre.
• Same old same old.
• Just getting by.
• Poor health.
• Little control over your life.

What is just outside your comfort zone includes.

• Self confidence.
• Resilience.
• Good Health.
• Financial Success.
• Being sought after.
• Living Your Dream.
• Happiness.

Entrepreneurs and investors understand the term "risk reward" better than most. They know if I stretch and do this I will receive this. I am a huge believer in we are better to have tried and failed than not tried at all. We do after all learn so more from our failures than our successes. There in lies the difference between smart and wisdom.
The key is connecting the emotion with the desire and clearly knowing how the impending success will improve your life. The time you spend obtaining clarity is time well spent. You need to know what your dream is before you can start to live it. Embracing change takes the stress out of leaving your comfort zone. A dream is just a dream until you act on it.

The Badge Of Courage

The Badge Of Courage. What a fitting term. Mr Fisher was indeed referring to City leaders who dared not to be political and to be weird. I happen to live in the being unique camp but the two terms are closely related in my opinion. So how does this relate to business and change management? Closer than you think.
My affiliation with a Change Management company leads me to believe the last thing we want to project to our clients is they could fail. We must all agree there is risk in change but in most instances it's better than not changing. Keeping things as they are is really going backwards. It may be as simple as changing processes within an organization to a complete overhaul of how the company or organization is managed and delivers its services or products. Ether way this takes courage. Mr. Fisher also focused on collaboration of organizations putting the best talent from each company on a team that can add value to each organization taking each company to a higher level. Everyone wins.
I see this in the call centre business here in Canada where a sharing of successes and open discussions of the future takes the industry to a higher level resulting in providing greater service for our customers. Everyone wins. To my American readers I should point out that many of the members of the Canadian Association are in fact American companies. Why do the American Corporations join. It's because we share our successes and not hide it from our competitors. Business in general south of the border is a much more combative stunting growth as the race is to hold a competitive edge leaving the others to play catch up. That being said there are industries such as the cellular and automotive business where competition is fierce and this privacy is fully understandable.
Lets think of this possibility. What could be accomplished if non competitive companies from different business sectors shared their process and talents. This is not a novel idea as this already takes place as owners of small business create their own board of directors through business clubs. They learn from each other. The key ingredient here is they all accept and welcome change.
If you or your company is stuck, it's time you venture out and take a look around. What can you change to make your company more efficient. What can you change to be more attractive to your current and prospective customers. Your customers want you to be fresh and creative. More importantly your staff wants to be challenged to help improve both themselves and the company. Employees do not want to be drones. They want to be valued for what they bring to the company. They want to be part of a successful team. Make change your trusted friend and watch all things around you soar, including yourself.

Are You Spread Too Thin?

Three months have passed since I have written an article. It was not because I did not want to. The truth is I was just too darn busy and over committed. How did this happen? It's easy when we are not careful.
Personally for me it was like the perfect storm of time gobblers. I have aging parents both in their 90's who need my time. I have a very demanding day job that requires immediate action reacting to requests. I am a devoted Rotarian active at both the club level and on the District Leadership Team. I was also traveling on business for two weeks. On top of that I had four speaking engagements over that period requiring allot of preparation. Now you can easily see why I was over committed. Temporary yes, but it happened none the less.
Are you ever awakened at four in the morning thinking I have to get these things done? People are depending on me. If so it's time to shed some commitments and duties. I believe people get burned out from over commitment which causes stress. Two things happen when we are in this stressed state. We make bad decisions and more often than not make no decision at all.
The truth of the matter is very little gets accomplished when we are over committed. The old adage of give it to a busy person and they will get it done does not always hold true if they are over committed. So why do we allow ourselves to get in this space? Uncontrollable things will happen that require our time. Things like family issues that we can't say no to. These things will always appear in our lives. The real culprit is not having the ability to say no for a request of our time and expertise."
Here is what I do when my time gets maxed out.

1. I make an appointment with myself to review my commitments with the object that I am going to drop some commitments. Note, you will need some quiet time for this. No distractions.
2. I write down all my commitments. All of them!
3. I then prioritize my commitments into "have to" and "choose to."
4. I then schedule walking time. This helps clear my head. Exercise helps reduce stress.
5. I eliminate the least important of my commitments.
6. I repeat if necessary.

I consider myself a time management pro and I got caught. We all get caught up in things we are passionate about and say yes. My recommendation is the next time your asked to help or commit either say no or tell them you will let them know tomorrow after you check your schedule. You be glad you did.

What's Your Personal Purpose

The question of purpose came up for me several times last week. I attended a motivational speakers evening where there were six speakers who had 10 minutes to express a lesson they learned that impacted who they are today. Two of the speakers and the host for the evening made reference to what's your purpose. The topic of purpose also came up in a business meeting just yesterday. This all gave cause for me to review my written personal purpose that I will revel later in this article.
If money is on top of your goal list that's something you may wish to reflect upon. The question I ask what's the money for? Is it life style? Taking your family to Disney World? Buying a boat or an RV often appears on a list of goals. These are all things we want to have. Things we can do with our families. I believe that money provides you the choices to do what you want and who you spend that time with in your non working time. That's the real goal as I see it. Going through this exercise determines the nuts and the bolts of what you want. It will bring you closer to finding your purpose.
The bigger question remains why you want these goals and what is your purpose in life. My take on personal purpose is what moves you to be who you are and how do you want the world to look at you. Yes, in many cases we do it because it makes us feel good. I send it back again. Why does it make us feel good. My first go around on writing a personal purpose was five years ago after reading Jack Canfield's " The Success Principals". Jack was insistent that you will not lead a truly happy and successful life until you discovered your purpose. So I began the process. I did some research on how to begin and how it should be worded so it spoke to who I am. It was not until a year later that I got it fine tuned to this.
"My Personal Purpose is to be a role model of giving, love, wisdom, credibility, learning, happiness and joy that will inspire my family, friends, customers and associates."
That's it. It seems simple but it took allot of time to get the words just right that speaks to who I believe I am. We all want love and respect. Love and respect can come from a variety of areas and that is why I chose to broaden my personal purpose to include family and my business life. I believe your Personal Purpose should speak to who you are 24 hours a day. Enjoy the journey of writing your personal purpose. You will be glad you did.

Uncomfortable Topics - How to Start a Difficult Conversation

The best leaders don't bring up the fact they are the leader. Successful companies and organizations have many leaders within their walls. The Captain is not always the top scorer or production leader. The best leaders help their team achieve great heights both as individuals and collectively. All this without having to mention their authority. How you ask? It's because it is never about them. Great leaders create trust. Where there is trust there is healthy conversation about performance and outcomes without fear of being judged by those you report to.
The business world is full of buzz words like "Buy In" " Team Effort" "Peak Performance" and yes, " Leadership". The days of " The beatings will continue until moral increases" are long past. Within the walls of business there exists staff who do not live up to their commitments and are not held accountable. I believe one reason is the lack of leadership skills. The inability to have a difficult conversation with a direct report can result in a host of problems within an organization. So whats the trick here? How do you get started with that difficult conversation that will lead to a healthy conclusion and a healthy working relationship.
I suggest you consider the following at the outset of a difficult conversation.

1. Ask for a meeting with the individual in person quietly and not in front of other staff members.
2. Make every effort not to have the conversation across your desk. Configure your office or space that creates a conversation and not a you work for me feeling.
3. Spend time considering how you will open the conversation with out challenging the employee creating a defensive atmosphere.
4. If the employee missed a deadline there is a usually a valid reason in their mind. The employee may have had too much on their plate but were unable say no "I don't have time" or This will impact the out come of another project I am working on. In short find the best way to have them explain why. This will allow the two of you to find a common solution.
5. Ask open ended questions during the conversation avoiding questions that can be answered in yes or no.

There can be hundreds of reasons why staff members under perform, miss deadlines or behave badly. There is no cookie cutter solution as each situation will have it's own set of circumstances. The key is to create a feeling of trust from both the leader and the staff member. Where there is trust there will be honest conversations and both parties have a willingness to help each other reach their common and personal objectives.

Are You Dialed In

We have all heard the sayings, " In the Zone ", On top of it", "Plugged In" and "I'm focused" but how long have you been able to hold on to those thoughts. This is something I have struggled with most of my life being an ADD. The high energy and emotions of ADD leave most ADD's in their late teens but some of the traits or symptoms of ADD get to hang around for most of our lives. Being easily bored is also a trait that's tough to shake. ADD's need to be stimulated. My ADD hang over became perfectly clear last fall while I was attending an organizations leadership weekend. A friend reached over and whispered in my ear " Your a sprinter aren't you?" He asked me this following my stating I was unable to fulfill a commitment and I had to step down as chair of a committee. That statement "Your a sprinter aren't you" has been rattling around in my mind ever since.
We can all be dialed in but how long can you stay in the zone? Truly successful people manage to stay on target and do not lose sight of their target. This I believe is a true measure of their commitment to a project or goal. My thought is many of us set ourselves up to fail because the objective or the time frame is too short. We simply lose interest or burn ourselves out before we get the job completed. I think every one suffers from this and not just ADD's.
Here is what I have learned works for me and I expect these reminders can work for you as well.

1. Just slow down.
2. Determine how bad you want it and in some cases what do others expect from you?
3. Is the time frame realistic? Can you accomplish what needs to be accomplished in the alloted time?
4. Where does the goal fit into you list of priorities? In other words will you have to give something else up to achieve this.
5. Is this a "have to" or "a want to" objective or goal?
6. Do you have an emotional attachment. Is this a burning desire. Emotional attachment helps but can it can cloud your judgement.
7. If the commitment or goal involves others be sure to share concerns with the others involved. Deadlines can be a mixed blessing.
8. Don't say yes to a commitment before you think it through?

My friend who suggested I was a sprinter was correct. My high energy and commitment was connected to a worthy cause. I wanted it. It felt right. I said yes for all the right reasons. The conflict was all the other things going on in my life that were important too. In short being dialed in is a pretty big space. The goal and the dream needs to be very clear. Disappointing ourselves is one thing. Disappointing others can be disastrous. The zone is a space that exists between the start and the finish line. Only you can determine the speed at which you travel that distance.