Uncomfortable Topics - How to Start a Difficult Conversation

The best leaders don't bring up the fact they are the leader. Successful companies and organizations have many leaders within their walls. The Captain is not always the top scorer or production leader. The best leaders help their team achieve great heights both as individuals and collectively. All this without having to mention their authority. How you ask? It's because it is never about them. Great leaders create trust. Where there is trust there is healthy conversation about performance and outcomes without fear of being judged by those you report to.
The business world is full of buzz words like "Buy In" " Team Effort" "Peak Performance" and yes, " Leadership". The days of " The beatings will continue until moral increases" are long past. Within the walls of business there exists staff who do not live up to their commitments and are not held accountable. I believe one reason is the lack of leadership skills. The inability to have a difficult conversation with a direct report can result in a host of problems within an organization. So whats the trick here? How do you get started with that difficult conversation that will lead to a healthy conclusion and a healthy working relationship.
I suggest you consider the following at the outset of a difficult conversation.

1. Ask for a meeting with the individual in person quietly and not in front of other staff members.
2. Make every effort not to have the conversation across your desk. Configure your office or space that creates a conversation and not a you work for me feeling.
3. Spend time considering how you will open the conversation with out challenging the employee creating a defensive atmosphere.
4. If the employee missed a deadline there is a usually a valid reason in their mind. The employee may have had too much on their plate but were unable say no "I don't have time" or This will impact the out come of another project I am working on. In short find the best way to have them explain why. This will allow the two of you to find a common solution.
5. Ask open ended questions during the conversation avoiding questions that can be answered in yes or no.

There can be hundreds of reasons why staff members under perform, miss deadlines or behave badly. There is no cookie cutter solution as each situation will have it's own set of circumstances. The key is to create a feeling of trust from both the leader and the staff member. Where there is trust there will be honest conversations and both parties have a willingness to help each other reach their common and personal objectives.